When the Sun Rises

A Story by tantanjj33

I should've listened to mother. She told me he was no good but nevertheless, I couldn't stop myself. And now, look at me. I wasn't always like this, I was once beautiful, the girl the others envied.

Chapter 1: Memories

I look out the window. The waves lapped the seashore smooth and calm as always. Sunrise. It used to look beautiful in my eyes. I saw it every morning; I used to feel happy when I saw it. But now, it doesn't touch me in any way.

He used to go to the beach with me. At sunrise, he would come pick me up. My mother would shake her head because she disapproved of the relationship but he would still go with me. My father, he left my mother and I to fend for ourselves. I was afraid. I never made any real friends because I was afraid. Afraid they would leave me like father did until he came. He changed everything. Twisted my whole life around.

I sit up on my bed, tucking my legs against my chest, and lean my chin onto my knees. For a moment I allow myself to close my eyes, tilt my head back and feel numb for a bit, to forget everything. But then I blink and everything comes flooding back, painful as ever. You’d think that after this long, the pain might fade a bit. Disappear, even. Doesn’t time heal all wounds? But it doesn't, the pain doesn't disappear. I still remember everything as clear as ever. Like it happened yesterday; the way he left me.

The people in my high school now think I'm a freak. It wasn't always like this. I used to be beautiful, the girl that all the others envied, the popular one. Wavy blonde hair, hazel eyes. I used to be the girl all the boys had a crush on. In another time, I would be ashamed. Embarrassed that other people thought I was a freak. But now I don’t care. Strange, how it was him who taught me that. He, who was strikingly handsome and popular taught me that, if people didn’t like me for who I was, they weren’t worth my attention. "You shouldn't have to pretend,” he said. So I won’t. And I didn’t. Was that why he left me? Was it?

I remember when he used to go down to the beach with me. The waves lapping at our bare feet. Spinning around, laughing, his large, tan hands intertwined with my pale, smaller ones. He falls down onto the sand, pulling me down next to him. I can't stop laughing, the dizziness making me hysterical. I slowly stop laughing, twisting my head around to look at him, a smile still on my face.

A lone tear trails down my cheek. Everything had been perfect back then--before he didn't left me, before he got tired of me, before she came. Christina--wasn't that her name?

Dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. Tan. Pretty. Rich. Her family owned a mansion. She was in the popular crowd in no time. But what about me? What about everything we had?

He used to say I was the most beautiful girl he's ever met and will meet. He used to tell me how much he loved me. I’m not ashamed to admit that I miss him. Even though I know that, if he does come back to me, it’ll just be to tear me down again. But he can’t ruin me again, not now. Because, you see, I’m already ruined. I'm already ruined, Phillip.

Chapter 2: School

"Mom, I'm leaving." I said. "Have a good day honey." Mom smiled that caring smile. No matter what, she was always there for me. Mom warned me, warned me that he was no good, that I shouldn't let him take root in my mind. But nevertheless, I couldn't stop myself. Maybe I should’ve listened. Maybe. But I don’t regret anything I’ve done. I just regret what he's done but then, that’s not for me to regret, but for him to.

I take a deep breath and walk through the doors of the school. Bam! A boy knocked my folders out of my hands. "Sorry, I didn't see you." Then he left chuckling with his friends. I squat down and pick up my folders one by one. This always happened these days. Ever since Phillip dumped me for Christina, anyone nice to me would be socially crushed. I didn't expect anything because these are the ways things work. I was a loser, a loner, an outsider. No matter how pretty I looked, no one would dare be nice to me because Christina would ruin them in every way.

I pick up my folders for first block. Just as I turn around the corner, I see a couple kissing and making out. As I took another step, my breath caught in my throat. It was him! Christina had her arms around him and he has his arms around her waist. I ran as fast as I could, away. Away from them, away from that scene. I lock myself in the bathroom as the tears start streaming down. It hurt, like shards of glass cutting into my heart. He told me before, his kisses were just for me. He told me he loved me. "Phillip..." I utter his name. More tears, more heartbreak. Wasn't this the reason I never trusted anyone? So that I wouldn't be heartbroken, so that I wouldn't be wounded? No. I can't hide here like a coward. I inhale three gulps of air and I glue myself back together. Piece by piece. Bit by bit. But you can never fully mend something that has broken down. I washed my face along with my teary eyes and hoped that no one would notice.

I sashayed into the science classroom. 8:30. On time. My blonde hair was in a ponytail as always. "Look who's here," snickers and chuckles filled the room. I ignored them. But the words stung, like a prick from a rose. The teacher, Mr. Greene walks in and everyone settles down. I sit. Alone. With no lab partner. I used to be the one all of them wanted as their lab partner. I used to be the one everyone fought for. Now, they fight to stay away from me. Sometimes, I wonder if things will ever be the same again. "We have a new student." A voice yanked me out of my thoughts. "His name is William." Almost all of the girls in the class started whispering all at once. Black hair, tan skin, and sea-green eyes. One word--hot. "William, you will be sitting next to Ella." Mr. Greene says. I could feel the glowering looks from all of the girls. The envy, jealousy, the bitterness of their glares stabbed me like daggers.