One last gift

One last gift of a husband to his wife

 

My dear loving wife,

You have been my support whole life.

Our dreams have come to an end

But while together we faced odds hand in hand

 

Often I spend my time away from home,

Leaving you in our beautiful house at Rome.

This time was an unfortunate instance

Forgive me, I denied your company out of persistence.

 

Checked into a hotel in the morning

Crows and dogs gave me psychic warning

Necklace I bought, waiting to be stolen

Never thought I will be soon named among fallen

 

Resistance of my body went in vain

They had aggression and everything to gain

And here I crawl stabbed in my back

Death, wait! I am a hard nut to crack.

 

Pen of fingers and ink of blood

Emotions bleed, tears make flood

Your love for poets I envied through life

One last gift for you, my beautiful wife!

Author's Note

Emotions and intentions were true but no satisfaction with my writing this time. Feels like rhymes have been forced into it! Nevermind just sharing out of compassion!

Reviews

[Diamond]

My dear loving wife,
You were my support all life.
Our dreams came to an end
while we faced odds hand in hand

Often I spend time away from home,
Leaving you in our beautiful house at Rome.
This time was an unfortunate instance
I denied your company out of persistence.

Checked into a hotel in the morning
Crows and dogs gave me psychic warning
Necklace I bought, waiting to be stolen
Never thought I'll be soon named among fallen

Resistance of my body went in vain
They had aggression and everything to gain
And here I crawl stabbed in my back
Death, wait! I am a tough nut to crack.

Pen of fingers and ink of blood
Emotions bleed, tears flood
Your love for poets I envied through life
One last gift for you, my dear wife!

The suggestions I make for this poem come from a place respect for the emotion expressed in it. However just as we interacted earlier, some of them I observed can make the flow better. Great poem.

[tanmay7551]

Thanks Queen for your constructive suggestions, appreciate it!

[Diamond]

You are very welcome. I myself am new to poetry, however I just get too excited about the flow which feels like magic to me. I hope my words were not lacking humbleness. I, thank you for the read requests.

[tanmay7551]

Not at all. The best part I like here in WC is all you good writers and their suggestions. My first contribution on this website started with a very good review with many suggestions and in few days I rectified many of them...

It's an honor, to be here among so many good people and learning something new each day.

[wordman]

a sad write,and you wrote it well,no changes needed

[tanmay7551]

Thank you so much for the review, clears some air!

[wordman]

my pleasure,the whole world is a critic
just write it the way you feel it

[OhSnapShley]

Pen of fingers and ink of blood
Emotions bleed, tears make flood

this is a great line. Nice job.

[tanmay7551]

Thanks you so much. I am glad that you liked it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it feels real..for whatever reason he will never see her again...she loves poetry and he gives her the last gift of a poem...which is his heart....

j.

[tanmay7551]

Thanks J, I am glad that you liked it and felt it real.

[Ashish]

Nicely written
"One last gift"
The emotions are depicted by rhyming words..
Thanks for sharing

[tanmay7551]

Thanks for the review Ashish and I am glad that you liked it!