The Blindness

This has been an old story I made for English class. Please don't criticize.

The wind blew across my face and I could envision the leaves swirling around me. This was autumn where the trees rustled and kids played. This was the Cobblestone Park. Isabel and I walked under the canopy of trees so I wouldn’t trip on the pathway. I had imagined this place everlasting and peaceful. Being blind was never a con in my mind but in weak areas allowed to excel and have greater strengths in other areas. We walked around on the grass with the cane to watch where I was going. I felt the gentle breeze against my face and the suns rays streaming down onto my face then to my body. Our hands slipped into each other, and then I smiled. I didn’t care if I got my eye spot back and see Isabel to be an ugly creature, but I knew she was a wonderful person. We moved to a bench close to a tree with grass surrounding us. We sat at the bench until the sunset came to us. “When are you going to the doctor? She said. “Tomorrow afternoon.” I whispered gently. “Are you anxious?” Isabel said and I nodded. I was always nervous about going to the doctor because I don’t know what their doing to me. We sat under the canopy of trees with our heads together. We headed back to our apartment. I took an aspirin because I was getting overwhelmed about taking a visit to the doctor.

I visited the doctor. “Mr. and Mrs. Payne please come to the emergency room. “Why are we going in here?” Isabel said. “Isabel please don’t come in here, we just need to see Max.” Isabel left, nervous and scared. “What are you going to do?” I said. Soon, I felt dizzy and noticed that they had drugged me. I woke up and felt them touching my eyes with their tools. I started screaming and Isabel started running in. The security guards dragged her out of the room. I was very nervous and about to throw up. They had tapped my hands on the edges of the exam table. I kept moving my hands violently, started screaming louder and louder and louder! “Why are you doing this to me?” I screamed. I started to shake my head and I didn’t care what would happen if something bad happened to my eyes, I already knew that I was blind and there was no faith anymore. I started screaming more, but even louder than I had done. They had covered my mouth with a cloth with water that had been on it. I gave up, there was no hope of me getting free and running to Isabel. I kept getting flash backs when I got captured by the fire, me screaming in terror. My mom calling the ambulance and fire trucks coming into the house, while my friend escaped my room with the window above him, running out and screaming, seeing the colors of red, orange and black, the doctors started to mumble but I couldn’t make out the words clearly. They had taken out one of my eye and replaced it with another, then with the other. They sealed my blue eyes with this foam that was tapped onto my eyebrows. I was in the emergency room for one and a half weeks. The doctor had explained what they had done to me. She smiled, and I knew something was good. I heard her laughing and crying at the same time. Isabel had gripped onto my hands and told me what they’ve done. I felt her tears streaming onto my face. She gently removed the tears off of my face with her soft hands.

They had uncovered my eyes, and I never expected what I had seen. I saw Isabel. She had beautiful brown hair that dropped onto her shoulders. Her eyes, blue as the morning sky. I saw colors that I had never seen before. “Sorry, we scared you, Max and Isabel.” The doctor said. The doctor had explained why they had switched my eyes without me knowing. They were afraid of what I would have said to them, especially if I disagreed to the surgery. The surgery caught me off guard. Isabel kissed me on the cheek and we left the hospital. We went to the park again and had lunch there. The park looked like what I had imagined it would look like. The trees with green leaves and the bark brown as the dirt, the purple and pink sky that lay across the sky above us where we had sat on the bench engraved with our initials: Max and Isabel Payne, Forever, with rings surrounding their names.

 

Reviews

[Markymark]

You had me going. I thought for sure he had lost his sight forever. Your decoy:

I visited the doctor. "Mr. and Mrs. Payne please come to the emergency room. "Why are we going in here?" Isabel said. "Isabel please don't come in here, we just need to see Max." Isabel left, nervous and scared. "What are you going to do?" I said. Soon, I felt dizzy and noticed that they had drugged me. I woke up and felt them touching my eyes with their tools. I started screaming and Isabel started running in. The security guards dragged her out of the room. I was very nervous and about to throw up. They had tapped my hands on the edges of the exam table. I kept moving my hands violently, started screaming louder and louder and louder! "Why are you doing this to me?" I screamed. I started to shake my head and I didn't care what would happen if something bad happened to my eyes, I already knew that I was blind and there was no faith anymore. I started screaming more, but even louder than I had done. They had covered my mouth with a cloth with water that had been on it. I gave up, there was no hope of me getting free and running to Isabel. I kept getting flash backs when I got captured by the fire, me screaming in terror. My mom calling the ambulance and fire trucks coming into the house, while my friend escaped my room with the window above him, running out and screaming, seeing the colors of red, orange and black, the doctors started to mumble but I couldn't make out the words clearly. They had taken out one of my eye and replaced it with another, then with the other. They sealed my blue eyes with this foam that was tapped onto my eyebrows. I was in the emergency room for one and a half weeks. The doctor had explained what they had done to me. She smiled, and I knew something was good. I heard her laughing and crying at the same time. Isabel had gripped onto my hands and told me what they've done. I felt her tears streaming onto my face. She gently removed the tears off of my face with her soft hands.

The very next paragraph.......is the reveal.

Kept my attention till the end.

Good work. Can't wait till the next chapter.

Markymark