I Can't, So I Won't

This was written for a close friend struggling with depression. Depression is dark, and so is this.

If I could, sometimes I would,

Follow you, black cloak and all,

To the place far beyond,

Illumination, far beyond,

The far beyond.

 

I’d drag my worn soul,

Over stained cobblestones,

And past the picket fences,

I remember being white,

Once upon a life.

 

I’d traverse the realms of consciousness,

And enter into the blissful promise,

Of an eternity of nothingness,

On the whim the void,

Would void the pains of life.

 

Let go your arm, your grasp so firm,

A misguided attempt at salvation,

That came just a little too late,

This place wasn’t meant you for,

If I go, I go alone.

 

Persistence, like sweat on the brow,

Of the toilers of the world,

The ones who couldn’t sleep,

The few who wouldn’t dream,

Of a lightless place.

 

An end to all ends,

A mean to all means,

The harshest reality,

To realize it’s never too late,

To turn back.

 

The gate is ever looming,

The journey hard to bare,

But shadows fall just short,

Of destiny, and shadows preside,

Only in the faintest presence of light.

 

The key etches patterns,

Bruised by clenched knuckles,

The proof, the end at my very own fingertips,

I used to think if I could, I would,

But I can’t, so I won’t.