Haunted bliss

 

Like the passing evening gust,

                 A speeding torrential rain,

                       This emptiness is pouring out

                            None to share this frigid concave pain …..

 

Like the very warmth of pubescent kiss,

                                Like a Maiden’s grandeur bliss…

You came …On this very juncture …  

                    

 Like an intense hurricane               

                              Sending twirls in my membrane…

 

Suddenly, I stumbled for a while

             As the weeping waft of winter

                               in my lonesome backyard

     Hums with the evening cinnamon tea; 

      The parched eucalyptus leaves rustle 

                   Breaking my momentary delusion     

 

Like, every Rose has it’s thorn.

              Yesterday, you were here ..

                             Today you are gone….

Reviews

[dark and twisty]

there is a bittersweet tone to this poem amplified by the last two lines..i like the last two lines the best..simple in its words, profound in its meaning..but other parts seem disjointed to me..possibly it's just me..
it's not your format i have probably with rather than a lack of link between some phrases..but I honestly think it is entirely up to the reader's perspective..i am sure there are those who will look at your work and see a lot more metaphorical meaning in it than I do..that's the beauty of poetry - it's entirely in the eye of the beholder :)

[M Bester]

"Like an intense hurricane -- Sending twirls in my membrane�"
This I feel often, love it.
"Yesterday, you were here .. Today you are gone�."
Speaks to my romantic side, makes me think often about what happens when people are gone.

[J.Black]

Wonderfully written!
I enjoyed this very much, so thank you for sharing it.

[~amanda~]

the ending was so powerful. the perfect way to end this poem, in my opinion. i like the line "the emptiness is pouring out" it is such a cool image. some may say ask How can emptiness pour out?

but i get it. sometimes feeling empty lends itself to writing better, as all your feelings come pouring out... its a funny kind of contradiction. thanks for sharing!!

[Ocean Orchid]

Well Knena, Thanks fr yr wonderful review and regarding time , Poems come in my mind - it's a kind of momentary breeze , and as far I recall it took me 15 - 20 minutes but that time is precious cause, poetry is precious itself , flickers like candle in pitch black darkness .. once in a while ... :)

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Beautiful poem. Wonderful imagrey, you sparked in my mind. I can tell, with the word choice and way you tabbed out each line, that you spent a lot of time perfecting this piece. kudos to you.

knena

[Elyse]

This is a wonderful piece, invoking vulnerable emotions in few words� Thank you for sharing.

[Helen Woodward]

Sad, beautifully written with well-placed prose. You make your point clearly and breathe life into your work with wonderful imagery, I could smell those parched Eucalypts.
Nicely done...
Helen:-)

[Titus McGuire]

This was a very good read, I like the structure of your poem...it seems to add to it. The words and description seem well chosen as well. To me, this piece is about momentary love...a love that is there at some point, but then just as easily fades away and is gone. Overall, well written.

[Ocean Orchid]

I think this poem is a deviation from the Normal rhythm & that is the beauty of it... where I say
Suddenly, I stumbled for a while
Breaking my momentary delusion

but thank u so much fr reviewing it ...