Wish Away

This is my first ever Villanelle.

 

I wait for a shooting star to light the way

Set ablaze for a moment to race the night sky

With a future so dark and home so far away

 

Seems each morning I awake to a world so gray

Then guided to the night as I barely get by

I wait for a shooting star to light the way

 

Dreams provide comfort and room to play

But in living life I find I am led awry

With a future so dark and home so far away

 

I swear, something has to give today

As the sun sets my hopes run dry

I wait for a shooting star to light the way

 

I'll settle for a sign, everything will be okay

And to feel that I’m not Karma’s fall guy

With a future so dark and home so far away

 

Night finds me with tears and a bottle of cabernet,

Feeling so sorry for myself asking WHY?!

I wait for a shooting star to light the way

With a future so dark and home so far away

Author's Note

This is not about me. I did feel like this once upon a time, but not anymore. Life doesn't change by wishing it alone.

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

For this being your first attempt at the Villanelle Form , it is a very well crafted piece

and you carried your 2 rhymes thru~ out, to the tee ~ also repeating verbatim the two repeating

lines~ so many do not follow the exact rules~ and vary on the repeated lines~ Well done

in both form and content my friend~Fran Marie

[Robert Luna]

This was incredibly descriptive as it paint a scene of a life I could have only dreamed and seen with the clarity you painted it with. I am always so pleased to feel as I have been shown something I would have other wise have missed if not for the words of the poet.


Great Job!!!!!!!!

[pal]

Unchanging life too has messages and wisdom to earn, so accept life as is..

sure i wish for you a shooting star each night.. dark or bright sky doesn't matter..

bravo.
pal

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

A nice piece. A wonderful Villanelle, never tried one myself but you pulled this off wonderfully. It has a sadness thoughtout of being lost and wishing for something more....or thats what I think. Nice Write!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Your note is right - we must take action to change our circumstances although I can relate to the emotions expressed in this work as we often find ourselves wondering 'why me' in certain situations. Well expressed. Thank you. Good work.
Light,
Siddartha

[WordMaster]

This is a magnificently worded and crafted poem

Your word selection is outstanding

The pace and the rhythm of the poem could not have been better

Can you hear the applause?

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

It takes faith pray and some hard work, but we can all find our way. It just seems like often we can't see the forrest for the trees. LOL. This is a great piece that expresses that feeling perfectly. Bravo.