Our Story

By far not a work of literary genius but fun to write.

 

I can't rewrite our story

So you can have your happy ending.

For your dreams to come to life

Mine must be left to die.

You would be drawn different,

To be that hero,

And not the  mess of a man

I feel in love with.

 

Not to mention,

I think I once was told,

There is a difference

Between reality and fiction,

I believe I recall,

In that fiction must make sense

This is so hard to craft

When in the common sense

It's something you lack...

Reviews

[Jet Lag]

i really like this!

my favorite lines:
So you can have your happy ending.
For your dreams to come to life
Mine must be left to die.
You would be drawn different,
To be that hero,
And not the man I love.

and:
When in the common sense
It's something you lack...


it reads so easily and clearly. well done and worth the 100 rating!

edit: lol, well if you wanted it rated, i would have gotten 100! :)

[Phibby Venable]

Very fine! it is strong and acutely observant!

[Chillbear Latrigue]

This is so good that I wish that it was written from the other side - the man that it was written about - from his point of view. Then I could send it to every woman that I have ever dated. I really liked the insight.

[Jet Lag]

you have my vote!

[shadadakiya]

that's great i love the way you wrote it thats its a keeper great work

[Tania Leigh]

Tamme, this is an excellent gentle rant.....very well written, creative and to-the-point.

I love the reference to fiction versus reality in that it has to make sense.

Awesome write!

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

I loved the opening two lines. You can't change whats happened, once its done, its done. A very good thoughtful write. I enjoyed this piece.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Hey, I like the concept of fiction being harder than reality because fiction has to be coherent.
Haha...good point.
This was kind of a fun and a sad read; I'm not sure how it's supposed to be read(?)

Thanks for sharing it.
Nice write.

"And not the mess of a man
I feel in love with" - sweet.

You have good form and rhythm.

The use of words match with your message well.

And the message is imparted very well. this is a good read. And an insightful one

[desertraven]

this was a fun piece!
Sandra

[Robert Luna]

This something that I believe most can relate to in some kind of way. Looking back over life and relationships we are unable to change people really and Is there ever a happy ending. I think we are able to adjust and accept that is what makes the story what it is. I enjoyed this and it gave me wonderful thoughts and idea which I am always grateful for.


Well Done!!!!!!