Darkest Space

I met your ghost

When I thought I was lost in space

Your sight ripped a hole through my soul

I thought you were gone

 

I was alone

On the darkest side of the moon

 

My anger flared

And I think I might have

For a second grew strong

A fire was lit

A power I never felt before

 

The sight amused me

Your memory was launched

From that black abyss

 

Out into the universe

With a sonic boom

Blinding flash

 

 

Someone asked

Are you really gone?

I nodded with confidence

But feeling apprehensive

 

'Cause I know

It’s you

That always finds a home

When I am trying not to look

 

Back in that corner

That is so very dark

In my mind

 

You’re the part of me

I refuse to acknowledge

Reviews

[Beth]

I think it makes sense - that part of you that you wish wasn't real, that you didn't have to deal with. Yet you know that it will keep coming back. Same thing with some people. Good write - you expressed this very well, in my opinion.

[Amor-de-angel]

I never read it before the changes but I like it. Most dreams can have such well hidden meanings.
Good that you remembered it and could retell it.

[desertraven]

really deep and though-full. Well penned, my friend.
Sandra

[RAWR!]

yay :)
you did really well.
those changes made it flow alot better.
usually it takes me a few updates before something i write even looks like language.

i think you did very well.

sometimes when i write things i likes, they tend to be so symbolic and so abstract for others to understand (since i think in pictures, and every picture mean something for me that i most certainly do not think it means for anyone else.)

sorry if this is not making sense, i just came to work and have had no morning coffee yet.

but again well done and keep on writing

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

Well I like the title we all have those dark places in our own minds and this represents many of the memories that haunt us from time to time. Great Write.
Debby

[Damien Dsoul]

There's a lot of controlled depth in this poem. It feels and speaks so much like a love poem, and yet it's not completely so (or maybe that's just me). It speaks to me a bit of denial, of feeling for that loved one, even though the mind often tends to deny his/her presence. The tone is rather soft and traquil ... and emotional.

[RAWR!]

this piece captures the emotion in question very well.

"My anger flared
And I think...
I might of...
For a second...
Growen strong
A fire was lit
...A power...
I never felt before"

i dont really understand that,
i think its the flow thats a bit broken,

"My anger flared

And I think,
I might, for a second...
- grown stronger

A fire was lit
- A power,
I never felt before"

i dont know, but maybe playing around with some words,
and adjusting the placement might make it easier for others to capture your flow.

you know your flow, but others can sometimes have a hard time following it (people like me for example)
- just a thought.

thank you for sharing,
and keep on writing :)

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

A very in depth look into trying to block someone out of your mind. Great read!