Scattered

My intuition has left me contemplating

     the dreams sent from the celestial heavens.

The spoken words have lost their echo,

     as they now deafen my ears...

               ...are causing these tears.

 

Disheartened, discombobulated, disgusted!

     The world once again has leveled me in cruel ways.

Left here to invent visions of sunny days

     and an astral projected night...

               ...with my true love in sight.

 

The hard genuine truth I have tried to avoid

     is the world is not mine nor is it yours

And it is for no one's taking!

     Maybe it is lack of mastery...

               ...that allows this fortune or catastrophe.

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

I like the feeling that this gave me. Feeling as the words were almost coming from to separate voices speaking in unite. This was almost like see light and dark swaying together. Was really a wonderful read and has left me with so deep thoughts. I liked this alot. Thanks for sending his my way.

[vanishing]

and an astral projected night...

...with my true love in sight.


Tamme-this poem is dreamy
in its romantic projection
your words flow with classic form
Beautifully depthful reading
Thanks

[Jet Lag]

i like the flow and the format.

suggested change:
ones taking should be one's taking

[Emily B]

You portrayed your thoughts well. Great job.

[Tania Leigh]

I like the format of this, and those last two lines are exceptionally great!

[desertraven]

it turned out well, Tamme.
Sandra

[Nana Carmine]

I like it a lot. You really got your point across and it got to me. Great job

~Nana Carmine

[Beth]

I think you hit your mark pretty well. The second stanza, if I'm reading it correctly, started out with the 'strong, angry' feeling, but then goes back to the dreamy. I wouldn't call any part of this piece 'light' though. Sounds more like a sad, haunting dream.

[Diana Owen Busy with Li..]

i thought it went rather well...