Awake

Sat in the dark with the glow of the moon

Seems the sun will be returning soon

And as this occurs to me I fear its light

It seems I’ve lost another night

 

I think too much and I can’t sleep

I can’t escape a pain this deep

I thought I’d beat this so long ago

But it seems my heart is rather slow

Slow to let me get away

Slow to get me up each day

And as a tear runs down my face

I feel a sting of real disgrace

 

For loving you with no condition

For elevating your position

For letting you deny my name

For playing your little f*****g game

For letting you destroy my pride

For loving and having to hide

For letting you treat me like dirt

For daily servings of new hurt

For believing every little lie

Whilst I was there to stop you cry

Reviews

[L.G. Knight]

Wonderful write!

~Frances~

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Love the poem.. well written .. really sad..i relate to all you say in the last verse..i am guilty of the same..

Well written, Jon.

Chloe
xoxo

[Siren]

For loving you with no condition
For elevating your position
For letting you deny my name
For playing your little f*****g game
For letting you destroy my pride
For loving whilst having to hide
For letting you treat me like dirt
For your daily servings of new hurt
For believing every little lie
Whilst I was there to stop you cry

im seein a pattern in ur words its referin to the same love...ive been there...done tht and in the end all i got was a slap and push(literally) that happens when ur the girl in this kinds of scerewd up,god forsaken relationship, i fell to the ground then i understood..he didnt deserve me, i did everything i could to make him happy, once i knew there was nothing in the world that could change him..i simply walked away...guilt free and proud, he begged after that but i just walked away...a word of advice, let the hurt go..there will b a much better other, i promise

[Kimberly]

I love this piece. The pain is felt of not being able to go on with your life. Picking up pieces are not easily done.
Sad thing is the person who hurt us knows what they have done and forever you will remember them whether ir be good or bad memories. I hate they get the satisfaction of that. Letting go is much easier said than done, though with the right state of mind...yup they're forgotten. Noone should have that over you!
I simply adore this poem!


Sat in the dark with the glow of the moon
The sun will be returning soon
And as this occurs to me I fear its light
It seems I've lost another night

I think too much and I can't sleep
I can't escape a pain this deep
I thought I'd beat this so long ago
But it seems my heart is rather slow

Slow to let me get away
Slow to get me up each day
And as a tear runs down my face
I feel a sting of real disgrace

For loving you with no condition
For elevating your position
For letting you deny my name
For playing your little f*****g game
For letting you destroy my pride
For loving whilst having to hide
For letting you treat me like dirt
For your daily servings of new hurt
For believing every little lie
Whilst I was there to stop you cry

[Tai Chi Italy]

I have been in this dark place too Jon, it is a tragedy but do not think less of yourself for being there, to love is to live and that what we must try and continue to do, despite such ungracious acts of betrayal, we just can't help loving, it just happens, if we are lucky or unlucky in these circumstances, not sure which. Rock on Jon...smiling at you, Tai

[T. Jones]

"For loving you with no condition
For elevating your position
For letting you deny my name
For playing your little f*****g game
For letting you destroy my pride
For loving whilst having to hide
For letting you treat me like dirt
For your daily servings of new hurt
For believing every little lie
Whilst I was there to stop you cry"

I love that last stanza. The other parts of the poem were good, but this is REAL. I felt like you were really starting to speak your mind at the end. You finally let your anger show through, and it came out wonderful. I feel the anger that you have toward your significant other.

I also noticed that you did a good job with pacing in the first three stanzas. The lines are all sad and slow, but then in the last stanza you sped it up. Very cool.

[Damien Dsoul]

There's a double-tone to this poem, and it certainly makes the poem very interesting and powerful to the imagination. Thea early pasrt of it is rather sad and forlong, but then the last verse carries a tinge of anger and bitterness in the poet's voice, aimed at whoever it was intended to. Very capturing.

[O!]

:-(


now i get what u were talking about earlier! :-(

lovely rhyme......sad message....I preferred this to my own!!

this was heartbreaking!

For loving you with no condition
For elevating your position
For letting you deny my name
For playing your little f*****g game
For letting you destroy my pride
For loving whilst having to hide
For letting you treat me like dirt
For your daily servings of new hurt
For believing every little lie
Whilst I was there to stop you cry

:-(

time for another hug?

x,
O!

[Anna Marie]

For loving you with no condition
For elevating your position
For letting you deny my name
For playing your little f*****g game
For letting you destroy my pride
For loving whilst having to hide
For letting you treat me like dirt
For your daily servings of new hurt
For believing every little lie
Whilst I was there to stop you cry

I must say this last stanza was just so raw and personal. It was so cutting. I am not too sure I love the double use of the word "whilst" but I do find the use of the word itself rather touching. That word has always been a winner with me. Again the rhyme is clever with great rhythm and meter. As always, nice work Jon.

[Amanda Crandall]

Awe, very emotional, raw poem. It's good to write to let it out and its good to read, because it makes you feel a connection with the writer. Thank you for posting it.