All and nothing.

Free-verse poetry detailing very dynamic facts about me. Herein where I will bear my soul to all who wish to see it, for nothing of me is hidden from those who wish to know it.

I have shattered test records, spatially.

I was without friends until June of 2004 - Wait!

I had one, but she’s in Texas now and we barely talk.

I, as a child, was intellectually insane.

I have seen my best friends turn on me, and each other.

I have seen my worst enemies become my greatest allies.

I have had my heart broken by very close friends. A lot.

I have broken my friends’ hearts. Probably far more than a lot.

I have visited the Caribbean on a cruise ship.

I played with a Capuchin in Saint Maartin.

I almost lost my eye that day.

I have tasted authentic Ginger-root Beer.

I have been yelled at by the locals.

I have seen open trade like you would not believe.

I was kissed by a boy on the cruise back home.

I never got his name.

I, as a teen, didn't really care.

I have jumped off a cliff-walk into the James River.

I have been on stage with the choir.

I have been on stage during a play.

I have choked up and run off of that same stage.

I have always had a badass understudy.

I have always had trouble being in the spotlight.

I have been cut open and operated on.

I was not alone on that operating table.

I have never been completely alone, ever.

I had a dream I was far away, but then I missed myself. So I returned.

I have worried my mother to bits.

I have angered my father to no end.

I have been inspired by my brother.

I have been envious of my sister.

I have been in a major car accident on a major city street.

I have jumped out of a speeding vehicle.

I have hopped onto a train.

I have hopped off of it just to be able to honestly say I did.

I have been informed I was mentally unstable.

I have lived and moved from hospital to hospital.

I have taken experimental medications.

I have been used as a lab rat for free.

I have battle with security guards, they won.

I, as a young adult, had a lot of issues that I didn't want to face.

I have been arrested.

I was convicted of a felony in 1999.

I served a 10 year sentence, with 6 years suspended.

I had 5 years in an 8x5 cell to suffer.

I have been angry �" had 362 jail credit days that weren't calculated.

I have, since 2008, accepted and gotten over it.

I have watched 4 people that I knew die while in prison.

I watched one person have a seizure during a riot.

I have admitted that that place scared the hell out of me.

I have to admit now that it still does, rather the thought of it does.

I have no intentions of ever returning to that hellhole.

I have been married. Once.

I have been divorced. Once.

I have been b***h-slapped. Once.

I have blacked out from that b***h-slap.

I have ruined someone’s release date because they b***h-slapped me.

I have never apologized for it. Not once.

I have been hit by a man. Once.

I have kicked a man’s a*s for threatening to hit me. Twice.

I, as a woman, won't and don't tolerate abuse.

I have lived in the beautiful Town of York.

I have lived in the seedier side of Shreveport.

I have had the pleasure of living in West Ghent.

I have seen the homeless beg.

I have been the begging homeless.

I have surfed on dirt.

I have surfed on couches.

I have walked across the surface of a lake.

I have laughed down the barrel of a gun.

I have had a knife pressed against my cheek.

I have kicked a man in the gonads on purpose. Twice

I have witnessed several rituals.

I have taken the lead in some of them, even.

I have conducted a hand fasting for friends who are in love.

I have helped many people find the best version of themselves.

I have thwarted some people’s growth.

I have felt terribly for it.

I have lied. I have cheated. I have hurt people.

I have been lied to. I have been cheated on. I have been hurt.

I have grown up. I have learned to be young at heart again.

I have honor. I have integrity. I have respect.

I have promised to not lie, even if it hurts another’s feelings.

I have been living as honorably as possible.

I have learned. I have failed. I have succeeded. I have been growing.

I have made friends with wild animals and helped some give birth.

I have traveled the East coast with family when I was younger.

I have traveled all over with friends on several occasions, when I got older.

I have a desire to travel the West coast at some point in my life.

I have fallen into deep, satisfying love. Twice.

I have walked for miles on end just because I could.

I have walked, rather than ran, away.

I have gotten farther walking away than most do when running away.

I have walked to the border of North Carolina.

I had to turn and go home because I was broke.

I have sat inside the 1983 DeLorean DMC-12.

I have loved that car since Back to the Future.

I have vowed that I would have one, someday.

I have, as of yet, to get my license.

I, as a person, procrastinate.

I have an irrational fear of clowns.

I have an irrational fear of elevators.

I have a fear of heights, in general.

I have a fear of tight spaces.

I have a growing fear of large crowds.

I have an intense disgust for Walmart for this very reason.

I have fears that not only don’t make sense, but some contradict one another.

I have found this very maddening, at times.

I have fallen down a flight of stairs.

I have fallen up a flight of stairs.

I have never been able to explain how one falls up. Ever.

I am, however, proof that falling up stairs is possible.

I have been known, as graceful as I am, to be a huge klutz.

I have had an animal friend of mine die while I was really far away. Twice.

I have had an animal friend of mine die in my arms. Twice.

I have presided over the funeral rites for an animal. Once.

I have had friends who have killed themselves on purpose.

I have had friends who have gotten killed.

I have found out some deaths of friends or loved ones over Facebook.

I have received a phone call about a death in the family. Twice.

I have drawn and painted various things.

I have created art out of junk.

I find junk to be art in a sense.

I have taken pictures of random things, and called it art.

I have no idea what real art is.

I have an idea what abstract art could be.

I have defaced American coins in the name of abstract art.

I have lost much of my family to death.

I have longed for death at times, myself.

I have cut myself one time.

I have no intention to cut again.

I have come to the realization that I want to live.

I have thoroughly accepted that I could never kill myself. Ever.

I have created more pain by merely existing.

I have created happiness by existing.

I have co-created a life form that grew inside of me.

I have birthed a child. I have the audacity of being a single mommy.

I have the honor of being called “mamma.”

I have a purpose more than ever now.

I, as a mother, will do anything to protect my child. Anything.

I have rolled two natural-20's on my first try.

I have made paper intelligent enough to defeat a human at a game.

I have cut off a slice of a planet to sculpt my own world.

I have invented competing systems of society, culture and economy.

I have wars in my mind between territories, realms, planes and worlds.

I watched an entire universe of characters I loved get destroyed. Twice.

I know more about those worlds than I do about this one.

I, as a gamer, am addicted to D&D and WoW.

I have traveled outside of my body.

I have traveled through pockets in space.

I have rested in the spaces in-between.

I have visited the Fountain of Youth, but did not drink from it.

I, as a human, am a light being in Indigo form.

I have communicated with the spirit world.

I have communicated with ghosts of yesteryear.

I have sent spirit home and escorted some beyond the Veil.

I have communicated through dreams.

I, as a shaman, am honored to do these tasks.

I have thought, believed and have known things.

I have been a caul bearer and a seeker simultaneously.

I have made and broken infinities like a toy.

I have several more issues than I originally thought.

I have so much more to do.

I have so much more to learn.

I have so much more to teach.

I am only 31.

© [fm] 03-21-2014

Author's Note

:)