Betrayed

I wrote this poem a few years ago and just found it while digging through some old papers. I decided to revise it a bit and post.

There's something wrong inside my mind.

The hope once held, now left behind.

The love we shared between us two, 

now I can't bear to think of you.

Your words flowed clear through the connection,

until she infected the interception.

The trust freely given has withered and died,

now all that I have left inside

is regret and sorrow for the time I wasted 

and multiple spoonfuls of lies I tasted.

These twisted thoughts play in my brain.

You're doing just fine and I've gone insane.

I tilt my head up to the empty sky and pray for an ounce of care,

but as it turns out I am all alone,

No one is listening,

No one is there. 

Reviews

[theoutsider711]

"The trust freely given has withered and died,
now all that I have left inside
is regret and sorrow for the time I wasted
and multiple spoonfuls of lies I tasted."

I really enjoyed this part, and the whole poem. Very neat mental imagery.

Keep it up!

[Da Leigh]

Thank you so much for your kind words. You are an amazing writer so it means a lot to have such positive feedback from you.

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write. Thank you for penning...:)........................

[Vorolli]

I really like this. Especially the end:

"I tilt my head up to the empty sky and pray for an ounce of care,
but as it turns out I am all alone,
No one is listening,
No one is there. "
This feeling's so close to me sometimes.

[❀ Gabriela ..]

Really powerful piece. I love the wording and metaphors, and how you wrote with so much emotion; each stanza clearly conveys your feelings of loss and betrayal. Excellent work! :)

[Da Leigh]

Thank you so much, Gabriela! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Glad you liked it (:

[Teeya]

I love when I can inhale emotions from the pores of another and feel her words beyond her words...this is truly a beautiful write, one I can deeply relate to. Truly wonderful...

[Da Leigh]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, Teeya. It means a lot. I'm glad you could feel my words and relate to what I said.