Tags 
%23Humor
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Jack-o'-lanternsA Poem by David PlantingaWould pumpkins smile so very wide If they knew on a porch outside An exposed gourd soon rots Or splatters parking spots? Their gr.. |
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VelcroA Poem by David PlantingaBecause zippers cruelly pinch the skin I use velcro for my fastening. Those hooks are much too small To puncture me at all, Twi.. |
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Shaving CreamA Poem by David PlantingaThough shaving with soap is very cheap The cuts can also run quite deep. Be careful round the lips. Or gout in scarlet drips. .. |
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ThimblesA Poem by David PlantingaThough thimbles are rigid and heavy and tight Getting gouged by pins is no delight. A finger jabbed enough Gets calloused, horned, .. |
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IncursionA Poem by David PlantingaIn anti-intruder apprenticeships The tiniest tiny canines yips At any passing tread Because it’s def con red. A zombie will .. |
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AgonautsA Poem by David PlantingaToo nimble for sluggards to swat Flies will gambol when it gets hot. Don’t bother to flap. You’re too slow to slap .. |
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GargoylesA Poem by David PlantingaAll gargoyles scowl. What is the matter? These faces will not make things better. But gargoyles always scowl Because their haunches h.. |
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WhiningA Poem by David PlantingaWhen things go wrong I like to whine. Complaining’s free and feels so fine. So when I do find fault, It’s moaning I ex.. |
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Spring ForwardA Poem by David PlantingaBecause even a long summer day Isn’t long enough to harvest hay. We modern folk must lose A lovely hour to snooze Or botch.. |
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Falling BackA Poem by David PlantingaBecause winter days aren’t short enough To bruise our moods, already rough, We make them shorter still And by our own free will. .. |
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UrgencyA Poem by David PlantingaA diuretic’s the best juice To glug before those long commutes. If coffee makes you pee That is a paltry fee For the elation it.. |
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Continental BreakfastA Poem by David PlantingaHospitable airport motels serve Continental breakfast. It takes nerve To think some continent Serves food not fit for Lent. Are.. |
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VentilationA Poem by David PlantingaA little bit of potty humor. People from countries outside the US often complain about American bathroom stalls. |
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Monopoly DominationA Poem by David PlantingaIt’s fun to collect money for passing Go but ahead hotels are massing. Competitors bought The railroads. You’re caught! .. |
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Board Game FrustrationA Poem by David PlantingaThe game of Monopoly was designed to be frustrating. It's an indictment of capitalism. |
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CaltropsA Poem by David PlantingaI promise this is my last limerick about Monopoly, at least for a while. |
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Smashing PlattersA Poem by David PlantingaI still remember my grandmother's heavy, gold-rimmed china. |
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Slippery ChinaA Poem by David PlantingaAnother limerick about heavy, slippery fine china dinnerware. |
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Bread TubA Poem by David PlantingaBecause plates are little and shallow A buffet should provide a fellow A bus tub instead, One made out of bread, With compartme.. |
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