Episode Nine

Not really sure how I feel about this one. I tried to rewrite but I couldnt tell what the issue was, so if you can find the problem please let me know

I held my breath as I hugged the hot foliage on the ground around me. I looked over at Brian and saw him lying stiffly as well. They were closer now as they soared from tree top to tree top. You could see the dark outline of a blackened body beneath the dancing fire surrounding them. The high pitched whining sound seemed to be coming from their opened mouths as they jumped. One letting loose a note before the other did the same.

            They were now almost directly on top of us. They jumped around two more trees and the one in the lead halted, crouched on an overhanging branch as he held onto the branch with both arms and leaned forwards with his neck stretching forward as if sensing the air around him. The other one stopped slightly behind the first one, who seemed to be the leader. The first let out sharp whine and his head jerked down in our direction. They knew we were there. My heart hammered in my chest and I fought the urge to cry out. They shot off in action. Whizzing through the limbs towards us, snapping branches fell to the ground around my head and I looked over to Brian. Hs eyes locked with mine for a split second before he shoved his body from the hard baked ground and propelled his legs into action.

            “Run!” He shouted over his shoulder as he began to scramble through the tightly packed tree trunks. I heard another snapping of the tree limbs overhead and I forced my body into action. I jumped from the ground and raced after Brian. Limbs raked into my brittle dried out skin and my lungs felt as if I was inhaling embers but I ran as quickly as I could. I knew the pain I would feel if those two demons got their hands on me would be ten fold what I was feeling now.

            As I ran, struggling to keep up to Brian’s jerking path through trees and over smoldering bushes, I could hear trees snapping behind us. Cracks, loud enough to almost drown out the constant sizzling of fire all around us, echoed behind me. My heart drummed in my chest. Panic had taken over my body and I could feel the demons gaining on us, like an electrical buzz rushing up my spine.

            Trees collapsed on every side of us as we ran, sending embers and sparks of fire into our eyes. I could feel the heat all around me, burning even hotter then I thought possible. The high pitched whining had picked up to an even more ear piercing decibel. I knew that if I glance back over my shoulder I would see fiery fingers clawing the air behind me, only inches away from my body. I couldn’t risk losing sight of Brian. He was gaining speed as the trees seemed to thin out.

            Past him I could see a dark area. No fire lit of the sky there and I raced towards it. I was close to the edge of the forest now. Smoke drifted back down to the ground. I stumbled as pain ripped through the back of my left shoulder. Brian turned around slightly at the edge of the clearing, when he heard my shout. He held his hand out to me, his face ashen in panic. He shouted something to me but his voice was washed away by the screeching of the demons right behind me.

            I charged through the last few remaining trees, my fingers clumsily fell into Brian’s hand and we turned to race on, but we fell short when we heard an animal like cry of pain from behind us. Involuntarily we turned to see the demons hissing and snarling from the edge of the forest but not coming any further then the farthest out, twisted shrubs. Their claws clawed the open air, growling like a wild animal would through the bars of a cage. Trying to attack us but not able to reach any further. I looked over to my shoulder where a sharp throbbing pain had set in. There four scorched lines had ripped through my shirt and left dark black lines across my skin as well. I had came inches from the hands of those monsters.

            “Let’s go while we still can.” Brian huffed as he jerked me forward, away from the tree line. The air was thick with smoke again and visibility was almost non existent. We both covered our nose and mouths with the few remaining scraps of cloth we had left to cover our bodies in an attempt to filter through some fresh air.

            We walked on. Brian in the front, blindly leading us through the smoke with his hands out in front of him, and I clasping onto his shoulder ready to pull him backwards lest we might happen to fall into some dark unseen pit or cliff.

            As we walked we shuffled our feet to feel in front of ourselves. I looked to my left and right and could see nothing but a dark gray of smoke. I could no longer hear the crackle of the trees as they burned nor the cries of the demons that haunted it.

            Suddenly, Brian halted in front of me. I heard a solid thud and a distorted moan of pain coming from him. Even though he was only inches in front of me, I could not see any further then my elbow before the rest of my body and Brian was washed out by the smoke. I jerked back with my arm as hard as I could, afraid that he had been hurt by something I could not see. Brian was easily jerked backwards and into my view. His nose looked crooked and blood was easily running from each nostril as he held his face in pain.

            “What happened?” I asked as I looked at his face in shock. I thought for a moment to run blindly in the other direction, terrified. Brian shook his head and seemed unable to speak. He grabbed my hand and with me beside him shuffled forward once more. We reached a solid mass directly in front of us. As I felt with my fingers, I could tell that it was a wall. A wall of stone that was warm to the touch.

            “Bloody thing came out of nowhere.” Brian muttered beside me as he pinched his nose between his fingers.

            “It’s got to lead somewhere.” I thought as I began to feel my way to the left. Brian grabbed my shoulder for support as he followed me around. I winced slightly as his grip bore down on my already tender shoulder. I reached my left hand out as far as I could and hugged the wall as I followed its length. We came to a corner and I shuffled around it, afraid to back away from the wall and be forever lost in the thick, suffocating smoke. My fingertips brushed against an abnormality in the wall, a lip of some kind.

            Brian fumbled to where I stood and felt along the lip. I heard a metallic cling as I saw his silhouette move beside me.

            “It’s a door!” He whispered excitedly to me. “I wonder if its-“ He spoke as I heard another click and a slow deep creak from in front of us.

            “I guess it is.” I thought out loud as I reached my hands into the threshold and followed it inside. We had been next to a building of some kind. Inside the air was stake but not filled with smoke, which made me think that this place had been closed for a long time.

            We both inhaled deeply as we filled our lungs with the cleanest air we had enjoyed in what seemed like forever. Brian and I quickly struggled to close the heavy stone door again before the smoke from outside filled the room. As the door slammed shut the loud hollow thud reverberated inside the building.

            “Where are we?” I asked out loud as I walked about the room. It was dark inside but not so dark that I couldn’t see Brian’s face as he glance around us, the whites of his eyes large in comparison with the sunken, black of the rest of his face.

            The room was empty except for a staircase that ran along the left side and columns that were scattered across the main floor. As we walked I noticed that the floor was covered in thick black dust and as we walked we left footprints. I heard a crack beside me and I turned around to see Brian climbing the staircase.

            “Don’t go up there.” I warned as I turned towards him. Who knew what was up there. My mind flashed to a mob of demons, waiting to pick the flesh from our bones as we cried out in agony.

            “What is the worst that could happen?” Brian asked as he stepped quickly up three more steps, smiling down at me. His mischievous smile seemed so out of the ordinary in this place. How could you find the strength to smile in hell?

            As Brian climbed the stairs I raced to follow him. He seemed to almost know where he was going with a fierce will to not be afraid of what was around the next corner. I didn’t want to stray to far from his side. As I reached the top of the stairs, the room seemed to dance with a red light. Brian stood aghast in front of a window where the light trailed in from.

            As I stood beside him and stared out to the landscape that stretched out before us, my mind seemed to move in a dusty haze. We were above the smoke from the second story window. In the distance you could see the smoke turn from a silent grey to a vibrant dancing red. From the top of the smoke rose the tops of old spiraling buildings. Most of these buildings glowed from inside with the same vibrant red, that I could only assume to be fire. It was like overlooking a city in the morning as the sunrise reflected off their windows, turning the view into a city of fire.

            Yes, city of Fire. I thought as I looked out at the world beyond, to stunned to speak. This is a city of fire.

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

This is really good, Tabitha...I'm so pleased you shared this with us. Keep up the hard work :-D

[gombeggar]

it's comin along...some need of an editor here and there, but just for little scrapes...i do the same thngs when writing something out...but really very polished compared to some postings...keep up the good work well done visuals and dialogue

[Marie]

There's not a problem with this chapter that I can see. But it's about time for these two to get somehwere besides hell. Or to find whoever it is they're looking for.

[Tabitha t]

thanks for the review. Also I am struggling with how this will go. it just now hit 10k so i have to make the decision now to wind down the story and make it just a short story or turn this into a 50k novel.

[Craig2591]

With each chapter I find myself wondering what they're going to encounter next. Such an imagination.

[Tabitha t]

so this is good correct? i wasnt pleased with this segment. something seems wrong or missing. idk

[Craig2591]

I don't see anything wrong. But if you feel like there is, you probably shouldn't ignore your gut feelings. Come back to it in a few days and reread it. Maybe something will show itself.

I know that feeling, though. It's frustrating as hell.

[Tabitha t]

Lol good advice I'll go that