Chapter Eighteen: (Brotherly Love)

Chapter: 18(Brotherly love)

 

            Searing pain flooded my entire body. I worked through the pain to assess my body. With my eyes still closed, I mentally did a full body check. I felt as though I was lying on a soft cloud. My body steadily thumping with pain I hesitantly rolled my head to the side. Fresh pain shot down my head and through my neck and I groaned under my breath.

            “Hey Maddy you awake?” I heard Addison’s voice close by. I opened my eyes just a crack in the direction I had heard him speak. Bright light made me wince. I was in a sterile looking white room and lying on a white bed with crisp white sheets that crackled as I struggled to sit upright. Addison was sitting in a chair off to the right of my bed. When he saw that I was awake, he quickly came over and helped me sit up. He now stood over me looking down at me as though I was made of glass.

            “What happened?” I asked as he handed me a small plastic cup of water to sip out of. My voice barely coming out as a croak. My throat felt raw and tight.

            “Well let’s just say you aren’t the most graceful swan on the lake.” Addison said as he sat on the edge of my bed, still looking at me tentatively.

            “You didn’t jump far enough. You looked like you were going full force and then I don’t know you just stopped right before the ledge and went down like a rock. I thought I had lost you.” He looked away from my face now and began to study his fingernails.

            “When we knew you were hurt I didn’t know what to do I just froze. I was so scared and not just for you. I didn’t know what I would do without you. I didn’t know how I would live with myself. Pretty selfish huh?” His voice wavered a bit and I felt my throat tighten into a lump.

            “I froze up and panicked. If it wasn’t for Jackson you would be dead right now. He knew exactly what to do. He dove down and brought you back up. You were lifeless and laying limp in his arms as he dragged you to the shore. As he began to give you CPR the only thing I could do is stare at your face with your blue lips and blood streaming down your face from your head and cry.” I reached my hand up and felt around on my scalp. As my fingers brushed a tender spot on my head, I cringed, remembering the bright pain and light that filled my mind as I collided with the rocks underneath the water. I could clearly feel the abrasion and the stitches that had closed the wound like a criss cross of wiry hairs.

            “He was so sure of his actions. He kept pumping and pumping on your chest and finally you coughed and started breathing. All I did was cry even harder. I was so relieved to see that you were alive. Without even hesitating, he swooped you up and began running with you back to the guild. We were afraid you were losing to much blood. It was everywhere and you were so pale.” He choked back a sob and roughly wiped at his eyes.

            “I am so sorry Maddy. I let you down. I let myself down. I couldn’t protect you. I wouldn’t have even known what to do. Jackson immediately brought you here to the infirmary and they started to fix you up. You were still unconscious because of the blood you lost. If it wasn’t for him you would still be on the bottom of the ocean.” He stood up angrily.

            I reached my uninjured arm out to him. Searching for the words to say that would comfort him.

            “Jackson is trained to do this Addison. We aren’t. You aren’t. It’s his responsibility to know what to do in situations like that. I’m not your responsibility.” I said sadly trying to make him understand. His body flared. He spat the words out as he spoke, Self hatred clearly written out on his face.

            “But you are my responsibility Madison. I am supposed to protect you! I am your brother. I don’t care that Jackson has some blood oath or whatever. I am your family and I am the one who is supposed to be able to save you when you are in trouble. Just like mom and dad.” He stared at me for moment breathing hard before he sat down in defeat.

            “You think I only saved Madison because she is my responsibility? “ I heard Jackson come into the room. I didn’t look over to him. I didn’t take my eyes off of Addison.

            “You think the only reason I want to protect her is because of an Oath my great great great grand father took?” Jackson came and stood at the end of my bed, his hand gripping the footboard so hard his knuckles turned white.

            “Madison is right. You both are my responsibility. However, not just because I am your Guardian. I will stay with you and I will follow you both no matter where that is and I would gladly put my life down for yours without a moment’s hesitation.” He spoke harshly now, emotion making his words sharp as a razor blade.

            “But all of these things I do out of love. You both are more then some blood oath to me. You both are family. When I have had no one else I have always been able to depend on the two of you.” He looked down at me his anger turning into a deep hurt that made his eyes look hollow and dark.

            “But don’t mistake my actions as anything but love. I may be trained to stay calm and responsive in those kinds of situations, but on the inside, I felt like I was being ripped in two by panic. I felt like falling to my knees and weeping right along side Addison.” He turned on his heels and made a bee line towards the door. Right as he was about to open the door and disappear from the room he turned back around and spoke so quietly I couldn’t quiet tell if he actually said anything or if it was just my imagination.

            “I’m glad I didn’t.” Then he continued out the door and shut it softly behind him.