Prologue - Big Boom

Rising up, back on my feet, Had a sleep, need new panties, night gremlins stole my clothes again, and my hat - is just no where to be seen. Its the, eye of the hat thief, its the thrill of the rim

".....when you consider it, there's really no such thing as entropy since its a pattern observed against the objective linear order we perceive to be our fundamental reality..... and super string theory can't exist because time is seen as a dimension and it's a human construct based on the revolution of the earth in a 360 degree orbit, something created before we could accurately measure it at a time where the world was STILL SLOWING DOWN!!… and shoot him in the mouth, watch him crumble..... life is nothing other than experience.... taint mine I end yours.... better get her flowers as an apology I love my mum.... the car was black, darker than the hearts of men who crumble kings, it rumbled forward, vast chassis glowing dimly as it rolled ever onwards, window sliding in to the midnight paintwork as a hand slowly outstretched...." BANG

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If there was a scientific formula  that could measure the velocity I woke up with in the morning, it would probably be the quantification of the grams I smoke in my morning joint multiplied by 3 for every bean I dissolved in to the coffee that goes with it. Another day, another morning, another bloody bird giving my sensation of automatic amnesia a twilight-zone theme as I try and control the angle of my stumbling in the vague direction of the kitchen.

You learn to live with the voices. They're strange, bipolar creatures that rest in the pit of the cerebellum, only crawling out when something with negative  polarity is available to feed on. They're always there, regardless of what you do, giving it the yap about how you've failed at something you're ultimately too lazy to ever have tried in the first place if you're me. Sometimes they talk back. It's like having brain babies but throughout their development they only cognitively exist to degrade you. And  it can be quite disheartening they never leave, since they're a mutation of a broken psychology. SO you go on everyday - with the worst neighbours you can imagine waking you up. 

And then your real neighbours have the cheek to log a complaint about your behaviour - like running  in to every wall between myself and the food is a choice when you get this mangled as a full time hobby.

The sensation of pain can be almost like the start of a stroke, across the back of the cranium in a tense vice grip, you can lay for hours with the stress from your minds overdrive burning the rest of your system in to shreds like an infection. Movement can even become more challenging, not least of all because in the few moments you can hold the balance together long enough, you're certainly not motivated to achieve.

The only way to get from A to B is too get mindlessly high the way I see it.
I do it for the judging faces, the laughs of those who believe they're better than you. We're all human.
They say I'm crazy, especially for my distrust of the medication that can help still the never ending talking.

However, it's reviewed.

I remember a video once I seen: Are you a genius or mentally ill. It was a brief episode only five minutes in length but it was describing what the differences between a skitzophrenic and a genius are in simple challenges. Like for example, an optical illusion where right minded thinkers perceived a curved mask as concave where-as geniuses and skitzophrenics perceived it as its true nature which was convex.

The difference being a genius would be intelligent enough to separate the illusion with fact. A healthy person would do a quick evaluation and come to the wrong conclusion in most cases because to be what is perceived as healthy it relies on a bit of self deception. Skitzophrenics on the other hand seen it as its true nature because of their own nature, which was to disbelieve and need fact, which I think comes from the erratic reality of the mind state, its a permanent deception observed against this linear order of Quantum reality, so something that is un-argueably fact in this dualistic state is something to be held on to with pride.

So as a skitzophrenic, when I review the medication situation.
I think back to no doctor being willing to give me a chemical breakdown of what they supposedly knew enough to prescribe me, and  the side effects, including terrible anger, that I have when I take the, and I consider the industry to be a fallacy. On a biochemical level, I know for sure the medication would have done my system damage for what was essentially torture for no conceivable gain, and you endure a long period of unrest fighting for your own psychology if you come off them too soon. This is essentially equal to poisoning then.

At the higher end of the scale there are the injections. They sedate you at will for the slightest things when you're taken in to an asylum at the higher end of the care system. The toxins they give you are capable of knocking someone with training to resist the knockout effects of sedatives - completely unconscious in five minutes. They make you Infertile and groggy, and afterwards refraining from sidelining the treatment with pharmecuticals is refused so it arguably cannot leave you "stable" by any judgement, and is useless brutality in order to coerce the willpower of the detainee. It can also, on a biochemical level, only be negative as the body needs to be in its natural state to be optimal and the chemical injection causes a chemical imbalance /overdose as the process of its effect.

With medication out of  the window, you  can try Alcohol as the common social release but look at what it does to you and that is another - medically proven toxin to the body. 
There's my route, cannabis which works, but is not without the share of dangers. First there's spiking, people can splay the plant matter with fiberglass so it cuts your throat and bears all the markings of being a plant fruitful in trichomes, which are the components of the plant that contain the highest concentrate of the pseudohallucinogenic Delta 9 Tetrahydracannnibinoid. Or worse, it can be sprayed with harder drugs such as LSD  and heroin. 
And its also virtually a gateway avenue in to the crime scene for a lot of people which comes with "the game2 a system opposed to THE system that promises money and a lifestyle just as lucrative if successful as you would get in most ordinary places.

Everything is set to have more of a newtonic force than it does a positive human joule, and I think that it's strange when you gaze across the vast landscape of the world and truly look at the science of the vast, hideous machination that humankind has become, it's hard to trust anything which in its self is a source that could more than contribute to the proliferation of these heightened mind state "right thinkers" observe as wrong thinkers in the first place.

It seems like the governments are trying to kill us all to me in my world.
Most people disagree but break a rule, you'll  be treated with martial law in short order, any illusion of any other type of rule is bourne of repetitive submission to societies whose founders failed to create a continuing and sustainable economy with the preservation of humankind at its heart. Relying on yourself makes just as much sense now as it did way back in the Stone Age when we only had rocks to fight off a pack of teradactyls.

There are some places where you can live in blissful ignorance. And the pattern is the religions there tell you to do so in its teachings. Then when you transgress those boundaries things fall apart more than any form of justice would ever allow, any conception of a form of justice being a foundation of this reality is by the human confinement of life, untrue. The main thing is, everything by man certainly is orchestrated to enforce control

POP POP 

Two sugars and milk. Make that coffee like silk.

Its only 6am but we're here now. And the voices. The pattern continues when you remember they only ever began after you were put in for "care"... when you had decided to trust and put faith in your own people, and then in turn had to fight tooth and nail for your own freedom as a repayment - just to get the comfort to destroy yourself.

The thoughts may even be them. Back again.
I mean we have Quantum Computers now right. We can use energy for logical processing and task execution. That's the manipulation of energy which is the foundation of what string theory refers to as the third dimension, which I think best conceptualises that general plane and measurement of the universe at the level that governs the human.

Kinetic energy could be manipulated to cause muscle movements and physical control.

Thoughts rely on the transfer of tiny little biological organisims, in this way neurons could be stimulated at certain frequencies that you had been trained through sensory experience or otherwise to react to, and through this process, control your very thoughts. Would anyone been opposed to using that? Assuming one had the resources to research such technology well that in its self s a bid for power so the likelihood is yes, it would be used and in the modern day era of technological revolutions and advanced intelligence robots, its all very plausible, all very likely something they would do to an old criminal bloodline such as my own.

They always ask you too look at the reality of the situation. The reality is World Poverty and Hunger and the hardship and suffering was cured years and years ago, we just never implement it because as a race, we're all lazy, crazy heartless scum and we enjoy and embrace that in mindless insolence to what we are and what we can be. Its all affordable just not for the people who would use it right. 

The springs of the leather sofa creak loudly into the rom as I recline, steaming chalice of boom morning at an epiliptical angle from my nose as I roll up a bingo

Guess it's just another life on the Cazytrain. Join the Quest