A Note to Self

Just because you know what I feel, doesn't mean you know how I feel.

I believe that maybe one day, there will come the time when I stop looking at the sky and start realizing I am alive.

Everyday, I wake up, my heart beats, my lungs expand. Everyday, I touch my face because if I don’t, I’ll never feel the warmth of life.

I’m sad. 

They say sadness is a fleeting emotion, much like joy and anger. 

But the worst thing about sadness? It stays with you. The hurt would never fade unless you try to replace it with something that would erase the memory. And what other thing is that? 

Another fragment of sadness.

When the time comes, will I ever learn to truly appreciate the fact that I lived? My time was short, sweet and often, painful. I want to be alive for once.

Just simply reach out and hold on to each and everyone of you, and just become alive.

Author's Note

Personal thoughts.

Reviews

[beautiful dreamer]

i like your description of the poem firstly. people have recently been telling me that i'm not sad i'm just acting. it's not up to them to know and that description made me feel better that i'm not the only one that feels that way. thank you for writing this beautiful poem. it is soo true for some of us. i like how well you tap into emotions :)

[TLK]

"I want to be alive for once." The most plaintive cry I am aware of. You set this rainstorm jewel in a very beautiful setting. You don't make that setting too ornate, so the whole thing reinforces this meaning.

The way I approach this problem is to remember that 'I am not *supposed* to be happy'. It is nice to be happy, and sometimes I reckon that I am owed some happiness from the world. But there is no guarantee of it, and it is something I should work on, and treasure when I have it.

When I need to remind myself that happiness cannot easily be guaranteed or even reliably earner, I think of all the people that do not even have what currently does not help me. I think of how much worse it could be. I feel that vast connection with the millions who starve just so I can have cheap food. And, over time, this reminds me that the world does not give me anything but life and death. And that I can make something of it, but not enough.

[Holly Mason]

personal thoughts are always the best
put sad memories in your hand close it-think-open it and blow them away..our mind will retain what we choose if we try
thank you so much I love when some one writes what is on their mind

[Tex]

A very beautiful write. well expressed. I loved the longing, the emotion in it.

Well done. Keep up the great work.

[Sir Jaykom]

Nicely written! i like it.

[Imagine Blade]

Aww... Kinda depressing.
Nonetheless, incredibly relatable.
But then, when I realize that I'm sad, I just tell myself,

"Why don't you watch some anime?"

And then all my problems go away!