Look At Me!

Just whining about my life

 

Look At Me!

Why me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not me? But I’m being real. I mean, really! Why me? Look, God, you got the wrong girl.   Look at me. I mean, really. Look at me! Was I ever pretty? Okay, okay, so all babies are cute. Look at me. Maybe I’m not exactly ugly, but I’m not exactly pretty, either. Just, just… Well, just kind of unremarkable.   Look at me. My eyes. Blue? Gray? Who knows? Unremarkable. My hair. Brown? Gray? Yikes! I got hat head, bed head, wind head, car head, dinner head, you name it, I got it. Look at me. Skinny all my life. Well, I used to be. Scrawny. And short. Who looks up to a short person? Nobody, that’s who!   Okay. Name me three people —just three— who wanted me on their ball team. See? You’re stumped. What’s that you say? I always got picked? Yeah, sure, I always got picked. Every single time, I got picked. Sure, I did! I always got picked. I got picked last, that’s what! Last! That’s not unremarkable. That’s pathetic.   Why me? Look at me! Shy, that’s what. Why did a short, scrawny kid have to be shy? You that into alliteration? How many friends did I have? Okay. Sandra in Kindergarten. What’s that? Michael? Oh, yeah. He wanted to marry me and Sandra. What? Okay, okay. Sandra and me. So me and Sa—Sandra and I had a two-timing boyfriend.   I was never popular. Never. What’s popular? What’s popular!!?? The opposite to me, that’s what! Popular equals Jo-Anne. Jo-Anne. You know, my sister. The one everyone loves. The one with personality. You kidding? Everybody wanted to be with her! Why? You’re asking me why? Why what? Oh. Why did they want to be with her? Well, I don’t know. Maybe because she wanted to be with them. What? What do you mean, exactly? Oh. They wanted to be with her because she wanted to be with them. They loved her because she loved them. Oh. Wow. But I liked peo— Yes, I did. I do. I do not! I don’t like books better than people. I did not! Oh. Well, I guess I did rather read than play… But books were… Books were… Well, they were… Well, easier. Easier than… Well, I could never think of anything to say. Dull. Besides, I did have some friends. Some. One or two. Who’s that? Joan? Oh, yeah. Joan. She was a good one, wasn’t she? Yeah. And Sara. But I still don’t get it. Why me? Look at me! Unremarkable Pathetic Dull. What about smarts? Now there’s something! I was pretty smart. What? Everybody thought I was pretty smart. I know my grades could have been better, but... Okay, okay, so I was reading! It was a lot more interesting than homework. Well, that’s my point. Unremarkable Pathetic Dull. Lazy.   Talent. Singing. Nice. Not great. What do you mean why does it have to be great? You kidding? I want to be great! I want people to like me, to think I’m Well, To think I’m To think Well, is it wrong to want people to like me?   Acting. Nice. Not great. I want to be talented! To be grea— Okay, we’ve been through that.   Writing. Hey, some of it’s pretty good. Good, not great. What have I published? You know, you’re really beginning to bug me. Those newspaper articles every month? No. Well, I kind of forget… I get doing other… But it’s not… Okay, you’re right. I could do a lot better there.   You’re right and we’re right back to "why me". Exactly. Why me? Unremarkable Pathetic Dull. Lazy. Unreliable. What’s that? Don’t forget to add indecisive? Indecisive! Oh, yeah. The picture. Five years on my bedroom floor But I don’t know where to put it. Well! There you are! Nope? Whaddaya mean, whiny? …!   Look at me. Unremarkable. Pathetic. Dull. Lazy. Indecisive.  --- Whiny.   Why me? Why me what? Why me, God? Why, why, why did you choose me? Look at me!

 

 

 

Author's Note

Formatting for this kind of thing is a challenge when taking it from Word into web-speak. Gagh! Half this thing is in italics I don't know how to straighten it out.

Reviews

[Sara Boepple]

I really like this. I could relate... to the whole poem... my reader-response was 100% activated by similar experiences and emotions. I would like to see if a different formatting style helps differentiate the voices.