I'm smiling. For some weird reason it's not the most appropriate thing do be doing after reading this poem (song?) of yours. I can see the spiritual side to this (in fact, this is probably one of the most spiritual poems I've read on here, if that's how I wanna read it... filter your words), and I can see the substances ( reality,whatever that is.. different for everyone, reason... the worst drugs people are addicted to in this world, the scariest ones to be tripping on too) speaking as well, or a very restless mind.
I like how chirpy you made it in a way (the tempo, rhythm... chirpy or aggressive, don't really know, I'm so indecisive), and how "dark" (fyi.. .hate the word dark, how about just humane) it is at the same time... humanely raw, and how out of place that emotion is after reading into the actual words, the whole work is like a happy tear, if that makes any sense.. or an unhappy smile. How about that.
I've lost leverage
My mind reaches hights
Of new pressure
MalFUnCtioning
Twitches of PURE pleasure
I really loved this!!! (I think you mean heights). I can relate to this character. I seem to have been there. This is a really great imagery poem. You give light to the character without streamlining his integrity. If this is a personal write and not a character write, hold on...hold tight to what you know. YOU are YOU and who you are is a human being with wants, needs, desires, and dreams. Death truly is only the beginning, but death is a timely guest. He comes in his own time.
what expression...this rant shows what it is like to be confused and in pain, but escape into the drugs or anything else doesn't make reality go away....when you come out of it, it is still there screaming to be let in again, I know. listen to the voice of experience...my escape was alcohol and it didn't work for me.
Though reality is a real b***h sometimes, it is better than the downward spiral...believe me, i have been there. come talk to me sometime, sweetie, ok?
siri... this is screaming of confusion and pain. as a poem it's fantastic - intriguing, emotive...
but as a reflection of your mindset it scares me. i'm not worried about you, but i don't want you to want to escape yourself. i love that self... and not just because you're nice i f*****g dig you coz you deserve it.
boom boom boom
la la la la la
hey you!
yeah you!
Im pointing at you now...
... i guess some part of me is always gonna be pointing at you...or the other person thats reading this...until of cours.. more..