I'm smiling. For some weird reason it's not the most appropriate thing do be doing after reading this poem (song?) of yours. I can see the spiritual side to this (in fact, this is probably one of the most spiritual poems I've read on here, if that's how I wanna read it... filter your words), and I can see the substances ( reality,whatever that is.. different for everyone, reason... the worst drugs people are addicted to in this world, the scariest ones to be tripping on too) speaking as well, or a very restless mind.
I like how chirpy you made it in a way (the tempo, rhythm... chirpy or aggressive, don't really know, I'm so indecisive), and how "dark" (fyi.. .hate the word dark, how about just humane) it is at the same time... humanely raw, and how out of place that emotion is after reading into the actual words, the whole work is like a happy tear, if that makes any sense.. or an unhappy smile. How about that.
Wow! A whole lotta talent here. It flows steady, well-formed (not that I care about well-formed poetry) (but I think I'm supposed to talk like that cause this is a review), and your emotion is conveyed with suchOH NEVERMIND let's just say this is great
You still have that unique and creative way of writing. You took me on a journey of twisting and confusing thoughts only to bring me to the begining, death's begining. Nice work.
Thanks for entering my contest and the best of luck.
this reminds me of my favorite poet ever (shel silverstien) its sooo zany but has a lot of depth at the same time, which is hard to do (at least for me)
i love the line "i cant express my immortality"
thats genious... so much thought provoking power...
great job!!
Love this poem!!!
Such perfect emotion. What a great read.
I really appreciate it that you took the time to write and post this.
I really REALLLLLLYYLYLYLYYLYLYLYLYLYLLYYLLYLYLYLYLYLTSDhsijhficvzdgsgjdgdfcbgjkdfhgkdshgd
i really liked this! like over the course of the poem it seemed that at first you seemed perplexed by your inability to really understand and then it got more and more irritating and you were just looking for a way to get out by the end. it really shows how your mind works!
This is one of the best poems I have ever read, Siri you are a master of poetry :) I love every word of it, it oozes such pain and sadness, brings back memories that I have long since tried to forget. You pour your soul into everything that you write and it is all so wonderful and real and dark. I loved this piece :)
boom boom boom
la la la la la
hey you!
yeah you!
Im pointing at you now...
... i guess some part of me is always gonna be pointing at you...or the other person thats reading this...until of cours.. more..