[ In War, in Death, in Sacrifice ]

"The hands that help are better far than lips that pray."
                                -Robert G. Ingersoll

' [ in war, in death, in sacrifice ] ,
Death comes for us all.
Death is the end,
The curtain will fall.
Just wait, my friend.

We'll bear our sins,
and we'll take it in
where the sinners crawl
death begins

However we breed,
we're a race of greed.
Forsaken soldiers out there,
pulls the trigger for our sake,
with their own lives at stake

Betrayal kills the leader,
foolishness starts the war.
War breeds the bleeder.
whose kills you'll stand for

Because,
you can be a King
or a street sweeper,
but everybody dances,
with the Grim Reaper.

Author's Note

Just wanted to try writing a poem, and now I've done it, lawl. Chances are, this will be the only one I'll ever write. I'm no poet.

thecrapiestpieceofshitieverwrotelol

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

Well, you are quite skilled at this sort of writing. I've fallen in love with every word (though I dare say you could use some honing) and that is a difficult task to achieve considering the little over-pessimistic, judgmental f**k that I am. Well done.

[Zeph]

haha, thanks :P

[Angad Waraich]

Okay!
Well for starters you should write more poetry because this is good.
Rather remarkable for the first one ever .
I especially enjoyed the last stanza.

Its true death is the truth that binds us all.

Well done.

Thank you for sharing and do write more.
-Angad

[DBKaine]

Absolutely loved reading this poem. Very dark, but that's my taste. Well done Zeph on a great piece of work.

[Jennifer Johnston]

Everyone is a poet. Most are just reluctant. This isn't a bad try at all. In revision, you might consider breaking out of the standard rhyme scheme. Try free form. Because you're more of a prose/book writer, this might be easier for you. Remember, not all poems have to rhyme. Prose poems don't even have to be in-stanza. Good luck in your future work!

[Annica]

This was pretty amazing. Almost all of your work is amazing. Keep it up! :)

[Zeph]

Thanks for reading! !

[Tsukin Archangel]

Because,
you can be a King
or a street sweeper,
but everybody dances,
with the Grim Reaper.

^Most powerful phrase of this piece. And no man, trust me this was great. My poetry's no better, just me writing phrases down on a page with my anger or sadness or whatever experience to guide me. I think this was a great piece of writing. And seriously that last stanza was powerful. Loved it! :3

[Zeph]

Heh, thanks, I'm glad you liked it :))

[Tsukin Archangel]

no problemo~ ;3

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write...Thank you for penning...:)

[Zeph]

Thank you for reading! :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Wow this is brilliant truly amazing.
I love the picture very scary haha.
Your no poet my a*s this is one of the best poems i have read i loved it.
I love the meaning to it, and the ending was brilliant.
Adding to my favorites :)
ps: please write another. You have talent :)

[Zeph]

Wow thank you very much! XD
Been trying to write some Haiku poems, might post them later :P

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

please do i bet there just as good :)

[Elisam]

I think it's really good! I'd love to read another if you could be convinced to write one. That last line is great but I particularly like this stanza

"Betrayal kills the leader,
foolishness starts the war.
War breeds the bleeder.
whose kills you'll stand for"

Go on, one more poem ; )

[Zeph]

Thank you, your review is much appreciated :DD
Maybe I'll write another, we'll see

[BCBates]

I always think of poetry and cringe at the thought of myself doing it. After reading this poem, from somebody who shares the same opinion, I might just give it a try.
I could have an hidden talent, just like you Sir!

[MoonlitAngel]

"but everybody dances,
with the Grim Reaper."

Best. Line. Ever.

[Zeph]

Thanx :D