the kiss

same sex tendencies

 

 My mind skips back to the time we met. That night was indecipherable. The liquid confidence coursing through our veins wasn’t enough to let us touch, and no matter how our minds melted, we were still so far away from one another. We talked about sex, drugs, music, love, heartbreak, and pain. As I sat next to you, I think I became light-headed from breathing in your sea-salt skin. Your long brown hair was enough to make me wet. The way it fell in front of your eyes, the way you pushed it back with your perfect hands. I wanted you to push me back onto the couch. I wanted to feel your hands running through MY hair. Your lips were parted, like you wanted to say something when you looked at me. But then there was a sort of fear in your eyes. Intimidation, but longing. Sometimes when our eyes caught, I would feel my thighs catch on fire. My heartbeat would move down to the place I wanted you to touch. But then I would look away for fear of you being able to read my eyes too well.

Sometime in the night I remember you saying you wanted to kiss me. The boys were huddled around us, waiting to see what would happen. I put down my beer, and then slowly turned my face to look at you. I will never forget the look in your eyes. It was as if everything you wanted was visible on your face. Every touch you wanted was seen, every moment you had hoped for was something I wanted to make happen. The bustle of the party was suspended, and all noise dropped out. I put my hand on your thigh, and felt you tense up under my touch. Your hands went to my face, our lips so close, your breath mingled with mine. I could hear your heart beating fast, and all the blood in my body rushed to my head. We moved towards one another, and like electricity popping off our skin, I was drawn into you.

Our lips touched but I felt your kiss somewhere else. Your lips were sweet, cherry, candy. Our lips parted and I felt your tongue licking my bottom lip, slowly venturing further. I wanted you so bad, I kissed you hard, our tongues deep in one another, our bodies clung against one another, our breath in time with one another. All was silent, and I wanted this kiss to last forever. My heart was melting, and I wanted to sink into you. I felt your hand moving down my neck, and your lips trembling. With one last touch of our lips, we parted. Still so close to your face, I opened my eyes, and saw your eyes looking back at me. It was so real. It was like you seeped into my soul and turned me purple instead of my usual dark blue. You changed me; with that kiss, with that look, with that touch, with that night. Suddenly we were back in the living room, the boys all sighing and still sitting intently watching us as if we were going to kiss again. And though we both wanted to, we pulled away from one another. I silently turned away from you and took a drink of my beer. I could feel the blood coursing through my veins, and every part of my body felt drugged. I wanted more from you. My hands were shaking with the memory of touching your skin.