Not So Little Girl

Story of a girl who was forced to grow up. I hope every woman out there who has experienced anything similar to my story knows that you are more than your past. You are powerful and loving.

Years ago, if you were to look at me, you would think that I was a typical nine year old kid who loved to mimic models such as Tyra Banks and sing my heart out like Beyonce. I was a certified girly girl and my attitude justified my nickname �" DIVA. Aside from my girly side, I loved to be outside with my brother �" who was only three years older than me �" and I would always find a new bruise, scratch, or scab on my body every week. If you were to look at me, you would think that I was happy, a little girl finding her way in this world. If you were to look at me, it would never cross your mind that a little girl such as myself was suffering, miserable, and had the weight of the world on her shoulders that reminded you of a middle aged adult who just cannot get it right. That is because this little girl who you were smiling at, smiled back at you with the biggest smile she can make, with fear in every curve of her mouth. This little girl was afraid to show anyone that no matter how many years she has spent breathing air into her little lungs, that she is no longer a little girl. This particular little girl had her “little” in girl taken away from her by a man who decided that he no longer wanted her to be little any longer.  This little girl could no longer choose whether or not she wanted to remain a virgin for the love of her life she may call her husband one day. This little girl was taken advantage of by a man she was told was a part of the family. This particular man did not care about the damage he has brought to a nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, or fourteen year old child. This man did not know that this girl wanted to die every time she saw his face, and shook every time she heard his name. This man put so much fear in this little girl’s heart that this girl felt as though she had to grow up a lot quicker than normal. She can no longer model like Tyra or sing like Beyonce. This little girl was too busy thinking about the next time she would see a face that she for sure knew was the devil. However, what this man did not know was that this little girl would put that same fear back into his heart - because this little girl became a woman. This woman would grow up to become independent, strong, and intelligent. This woman became a powerhouse of ambition, goals and dreams. Now whenever this woman looks into this mans’ eyes, she brings him more fear than he has ever put into this little girl’s heart. This is the story of a woman who would not be the woman she is without it.