Out of the Shadows

My existentialist side!

She never got

away

From the darkness

in light

the shadows

did her in

never forget the

hopelessness

of life

Yet when you see her

ghosty in the dark

remember it is you 

who blows out

the candle

You control the

flicker flicker

and warmth

For when the flies gather

and the cold spreads

through

No one will know

the name

No one will save

Your soul

From the Black Keeper

Oh don't worry,

Everyone meets him

But you can

set the timer

Ding!

And pull out

all of

what

You can

never

know.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[jessdixon]

I like the form of your poem; it seems to mimic the "flicker flicker." There is some strong imagery as well. "Flies gather and cold spreads." Might I suggest paying attention to the symmetry of the poem? Some parts rhyme, some don't, some lines are parallel, some aren't, etc.

[.......]

wow, intriguing really, makes me ponder a bit as well. Enjoyed this write.

[Jordan]

Powerful! I like dark writing, so this poem really grabbed me! I love everything about it. However, the only word that feels out of place to me is the onomonopia "Ding!", because the exclamation point especially makes it seem like such a cheerful word, and the rest of the poem is going for a darker vibe. At least, that's what I felt as I read along.

[pinpen]

Powerful imagery and sadness, but nicely written.