The Challenge of Love Chapter 20

The events of the next few weeks seemed to fly by.  The rushed wedding plans and packing filled my days and terror filled my nights.  The day of the wedding was a blur.  It was a simple wedding, plain without any ornamentation, but that was fine with me.   Dave wore his uniform and I had on slacks and a blouse.  We both knew that he would be leaving after the ceremony and boys and I would be driving to his house, our house.  I couldn't quite wrap my mind around the our part yet.  This was all so quick that it was almost a relief not having to think about our wedding night.  I was doing my very best not to think about that aspect of the marriage.  Until now all I had thought about was keeping my promise.  I loved the boys dearly, but the feelings I had for Dave were new and uncertain.  I wasn't ready to think about the physical aspect of our marriage, this really was a marriage of convenience.

We must have made a odd looking group.  Dave entered first looked a little green, I followed and I know I was shaking all the way to my shoes.  But the boys, following the two of us, were beaming.  Grandfather had a satisfied smug look on his face and Mattie was just Mattie.  Sometimes I think nothing ruffles his feathers.  That calm smiling face did little to sooth my nerves on this day though.  Just the opposite in fact.  Suddenly I had a strong urge to knock him down and pin him to the floor the way I did when we were little.   As if he heard my thoughts, Mattie pulled me back and pinned me to his side, giving me the same mischievous grin he always did just before our scuffling started.  This time he just gave me a squeeze, then turned me loose.

The boys stood with us for the ceremony.  When William said "I do," along with his dad someone behind us choked back a laugh.  Then there was the struggle between the three boys over the ring box resulting in it catapulting through the air and striking Mattie squarely between the eyes.  The choked laugh because a full out chortle and Mattie stepped forward with a amused grin to hand Dave the ring.

Then the whirlwind ceremony was over.  Dave gave me the customary kiss that, under the circumstances, I wasn't expecting.  I didn't hear any bells, but it did shut out the world.  The next thing I remember was him putting the boys in the car and closing the door after me.  The second kiss, through the window, was even less expected and it scared me.  It brought heat to my face, a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach and when he finally pulled his head from the window I was breathless.   The regret I felt was echoed in his face, then quickly, before I could say a word he walked to his transport and got inside.  

I set quietly as he left, watching him go and feeling a sudden unexpected loneliness.  It was Jason's soft hand on my cheek that reminded me to crank the car and drive to our home.  That our still felt odd, but it was a good sort of odd.