The Challange of Love Chapter 15

The first I knew of the fire was when I arrived for work.  The parking lot was full of police vehicles, firetrucks and spectators.  The building was barely standing.  All that was left were blackened walls.  Smoke was rising from the soggy ruins.  The air smelled of wet and charred beams.  And the wind blowing off the building was hot and stifling.  Off in the distance the fire was still burning.  The red light eerie against the fast falling snow. 

Traveling on high winds it jumped building to building.  Some burned faster then others and some were lucky.  The winds shifted as the fire approached those buildings and they were left standing.  Lone structures surrounded by blacked ruins.  It took a week before the fire was completely out and that was the longest week I've ever seen.

The community and surrounding areas set up rest stations for those fighting the fires.  I've never seen anyone as tired as the fighters were.  Coming in only for food and drink they were covered in black shoot with bloodshot eyes.  Many fell asleep over their meals.  Most were offered a place to bathe and sleep in surrounding homes, including ours, but few took more then a few hours to rest before they went back out.  

When the fires were finally under control a few at a time began to accept the offer of a shower and a bed and when they slept they slept the sleep of the dead.

Dave was one of the volunteers firefighters.  While he was out fighting the fire the boys came home with me.   Even though it was a bad situation I treasured my time with them and it became even more clear to me that my job was just something to fill the empty part of my life.  With the boys that part of me was full. 

Knowing that these days might be my last with the boys and not knowing how long they would last, I began to stash away the memories of their laughter like the proverbial miser.  I took photos and started a journal of everything they did that made my heart jump for joy.  All those precious little moments.  The moments that Julie wrote about in her memory books for them, now I wrote about them so I would have those memories to cheer me when I was alone.  Until then I never understood why some people were such avid scrap bookers, but suddenly I knew why.

Each evening I wrote a letter to Julie telling her what the boys had done that day.  Even though I knew she already knew what they had done I told her about it.  I understood that it was really for me that I was writing it down, but it helped to have someone to tell it to.  Then to I told her of my failure to keep my promise to her and how badly it hurt not to be able to do it. 

I was able to unburden my feeling to her because I knew that she would understand only to well.  Looking back I realize that those journals and letters were my confessionals.  I felt like I had failed her in so many ways and even though I knew she would have accepted my failures I had trouble accepting them myself.  Forgiving another is so much easier then forgiving oneself.

Finally the fires were out and Dave was able to go home.  I offered to keep the boys for a few days so he could rest, but he refused my offer.  I watched them run to him with longing, but knew that they were his family.  I was just a caring outsider.  I didn't know that No'hta'wry came up behind me until I felt his arm around my waist.  He whispered something into the air that I couldn't understand, but his presence alone was comforting.  

It wasn't until William's arms reached around my legs that I realized that he had run back to tell me goodbye.  Kneeling so I could see him eye to eye I hugged him and wondered if this would be the last time.  Everyone knew that Dave's orders had come just before the fire started.  He would be leaving to go on active duty and the thought of never seeing him or the boys again pulled at me with such a intensity that I didn't know if I was going to be able to survive or not.  William hugged me with one of his little boy bear hugs, then took off back to his dad.  With blurred vision I watched Dave buckle him into the truck and drive away.

Author's Note

Rough draft is finally finished

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very interesting chapter. A lot of activities going on. A good ending to a strong chapter.
Coyote

[M Garcia]

How sad. Please post more.

[Marie Harrison]

Sounds interesting. Fires always scare me. My Uncle was a Fire Chief and taught me a lot about them. Can't wait to read more of this chapter. You've captured my attention in this partial chapter.