Second Chances Two

“You're my forever friend. I will love you aways.”

Julie's shining eyes assured me of her love as she said yes to my marriage proposal. The kiss that followed sealed her promises.

The joy of that kiss was broken by distant voices. Voices and a sudden wrenching sadness followed by cold and wet.

Gentle hands tugged me from my car and led me inside a house. Through the haze of anguish all I could see was the flickering of firelight in the end of the room before I was lead down the hall to a bedroom.

“Mark, Jason, William, where are they?” suddenly terrified I missed the boys.

“Daddy?” Jason's soft scared voice came from the other side of the room.

“We're here Dad. Mark stepped into my line of sight.

“Where's William?”

From behind me a voice assured me William was alright. “Susan is bringing him in from the car.”

Reassured I collapsed on the bed.

“Dad? You aren't sleeping in your clothes are you?”

I stared at Mark for a moment, then stood to undress. Then sat down to remove my shoes.

“I'll take them off Daddy.”

Jason's sandy head appeared in front of me and before I could move he was tugging at my shoes. At his giggle I looked down.

“Your toe is through,” he grinned up at me, before pulling the moth eaten sock off. Then he wrapped his arms around me and climbed onto the bed.

Mark just stood watching until I patted the mattress, then he joined us. After everyone was settled I turned the lamp out. The warmth of the boys was comforting, but it didn't fill the cold void inside of me.

William's cries penetrated my sleep. Rousing me from nightmarish dreams of searching I listened to a voice comforting him for a few minutes before realizing it wasn't Julie's. With a start I remembered.

Recognizing the sound of Susan's voice, I carefully slid from bed and followed the sound down the hall to the doorway. Standing in the shadows I say her take William from her grandfather. She was gentle with him and I was surprised at how skillful she was at changing his diaper.

“Promise me,” Julie's weakened voice sounded in my head, “Susan will make you a good wife and will be a good mom to the boys.”

Standing in the darkness, hot tears of anger and loss burning a river down my face, I fought the memory of my promise to her. I stood watching until Susan sat down with William in her lap. Watched as her grandfather carried his stool over to her, covered her with a blanket and kissed them both goodnight, then I turned and hurried back to the room climbing into the other bed.

His halting gate stopped at the door and I could feel his eyes as the crossed the bed. Faining sleep I hoped he would just go away.

“Goodnight son.”

The soft voice started me and I wondered at his uncanny perception. Before I could decide to answer he shuffled away and the loneliness set in again.

It was a long time before I could fall asleep. For twelve years I'd shared a bed with Julie. She comforted me when my mother died. Her loss left me so empty and alone. All that we were and had shared washed over me in ever growing waves of grief. The aching grew until, unable to stand it any longer, I turned to face the wall, drowning my voice in a pillow as the sea of heartache filled my eyes and washed down my cheeks.

Revelation 21:3-4 : One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes.

Reviews

[A.Lee]

Wow. Starting to understand more. You're playing so strong on the emotions with this one. It almost makes me want to cry, especially seeing the way Mark is trying to help take care of everyone. Very sad, but beautiful.

[Coyote Poetry]

Take years to forget the safety and comfort of a true love. A very strong chapter. I like the conversation and the ending. A very good chapter.
Coyote