The Price of Freedom

Their songs cry out let freedom ring
But the chains that hold us down sing
A song of misery, contempt, and slaves
A song that will play until we reach our graves
 
The ones in charge sing songs upbeat
While the people below rock out to defeat
But underground societies refuse to stop
Until the cult comes out on top

War cries and drums sound
Fire trucks gather round
As the American flags burn to the ground

The cults cry victory
The underground societies plant a new flag
One that will truly bring freedom and peace
While the old leaders are carried away in black bags

The chains have fallen from our wrists
But the cult still persists
Fighting a war on humanity
A war never won quietly

Reviews

[honeyleens]

Very strong and powerful piece, I liked the message behind this.

[RedInk524]

A lot of power in the lines, i like it. Good poem.

[Almost sane]

This would be great as a screamo song. I would love to here this performed by "bring me the horizon"

[Miss Marie Riorden.]

As Rachael said the flow isn't exactly right , but the power under this poem is amazin g. It's a very good write and I enjoyed reading it .

[Rachael]

Interesting. I like the "As the American flags burn to the ground" line. I find myself stumbling a little across some of the words. Particularly the term "underground societies" since it doesn't exactly flow on the tongue.

Also double check syllables and flow of lines. I'm always a stickler for flow when it comes to poetry. Like the second line "But the chains that hold us down sing", every other syllable has a stress. "But, chains, hold, down", all have stresses. "Sing" should also be stressed but it falls after "down", so it can't be. If you were to add another word between down and sing, like "will", so that it read: "But the chains that hold us down will sing" then sing would be stressed as well.

You always want rhyming words/syllables to be stressed.

I like the power behind the poem though and especially the lines about songs and rocking out to defeat. They are very interesting to read!

[Veronica Chandler]

Wow, very powerful write; the emotion and sentiment are intense and from the heart, and those are the perfect ingredients to create awsome poetry.

[Alicia Hirshey]

This was beautiful.