Red and Gold

I won an award from a Holocaust remembrance society for this one

Dawn breaks
Red and gold
Birds sing
Crickets chirp
Everything seems fine on the surface
But bombs detonate in the distance
As smoke rises from the dry forests
Sparks burn up entire fields
Leaving people to starve
While those who set bombs laugh
Yet we remain ignorant of the torture
Of the pain of the suffering
Deaf to their screams
What has the world come to
No one seems to care about others
As long as they’re alive to witness
The next red and gold sunrise 

Reviews

[Emily]

I love the imagery in this one, "as long as they're alive to witness the next red and gold sunrise" "As smoke rises from dry forests". Having said that, there are a few lines where you drift into the abstract a little bit, which I think would be more powerful if you put in some more imagery. For example, instead of "Everything seems fine on the surface," try something like, "the ocean waters appear calm and still" That way, you get your same message across, but you put it into an image instead of an abstract line, Good work, overall. I'm just trying to help you make it even better. :)

[honeyleens]

I liked the tie in of the colors (red/gold) with the idea of a new day, of being alright for now. I liked some of the imagery you used ("sparks burn up entire fields") and the concept. I feel that you have a good fundamental base for this poem; however, I feel that in this case, the poem would have benefited from a little more abstraction or metaphoric language to really make the reader think! That being said, I still do believe this to be a lovely heartfelt read.

[Veronica Chandler]

Wow SweetEmotions this one paints a picture for sure and at times all I can see are the thoughts reflecting, "Yet we remain ignorant of the torture of the pain of the suffering deaf to their screams." But alas there you are to remind and here we are listening so I can find a glimmer of hope that we, collectively will wake to care. I can not even bear the images of laughter while setting bombs. The times they are a changing and the more of us who write and speak our minds about the tragic things happening in our world, the more of us will wake up and collectively scream, Stop The Madness! Well written 1

[Lourisa]

Beautifully written and sadly so true.

[WatashLegend]

Selfishness is a shame, many wear that badge unfortunately they wear it with honor.For some reason unless poison kills it is found to be harmless people are out of touch as they have been, tragic world, wonderful write

[SpokenWord]

A beautiful morning scorned by the wrath of men and their toys. People don't care to see the truth and they close their hearts to the true images they create. Beautiful write.

[Clay Feet]

We are steeped in our own selfishness. Good observation. I enjoy the last line even if it is selfish after the preceding.

[Helpless]

love the ending... leaves of a feeling of adventures to look forward to..
as long as they're alive to witness
the next red and gold sunrise

[Ike L. Obidike]

Beautiful. Obviously written with passion.