So this is how it feels...

How good it is, how bad it could be.

 

So This Is How is feels.

 

 

So this is how it feels to be on top of the world.

This is the joy of holding your hand.

This is the sound of your breathing after we have made love.

This is the smell of your hair in the morning.

This is the flame of your passion;

 As we exchange a glance of heat and body fluids over dinner with your folks.

 

This is the empathy and hurt when you had a bad day at work.

This is the coffee and pastry on a Sunday morning.

This is looking up your night gown.

I see your truth as you lounge reading the paper.

 

This is the balloon.

This is the sun.

This is the breeze.

This is the grass.

These are the clouds.

This is my heart.

This is my stupid grin.

 

This is the silly dance, in my boxer shorts.

These are my shoulders being rubbed.

This is my stomach being kissed.

This is my blood pounding.

This is the smell of my aftershave.

This is the dimple on your butt.

 

 

So This is How it feels.

 

So this is how it feels to be banished from your world.

This is an ugly callused man hand.

This is the sound of a man who won’t weep.

This is the smell of stale cigarettes and cheap booze.

These are the ashes of a burned down heart,

As we ignore each other awkwardly in social situations.

 

This is the ache that leaves food with no taste.

This is dirty clothes and convenience store coffee.

This is looking at your forgotten single earring,

Seeing my truth and trying to live.

 

This is my anvil.

This is my bitter cold.

This is my biting wind.

This is my wilted rose.

This is my cold front.

This is my heart.

These are my dead eyes.

 

This is my silly dance, drunk staggering and alone.

These are my shoulders slumped in shame.

This is my stomach obese, hairy, and gross.

This is my blood gelling.

This is the smell of needing deodorant.

This is my ache after we’re done.

 

So This is How it feels.

 

J. Swaney

04/19/08

 

Reviews

[O!]

Contrast done very well.....!.........

scary how things can turn!! yikes!

x,
O!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

What a hopeful and loving beginning with such a melancholic ending. Makes me sad in the end. Great write however, wonderful emotions portrayed - ones in which I can truly empathize. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Light,
Siddartha

[closed account]

Ouch!!!!! Omy this was a very good read,, I can feel the agony in these words, you seriously made it very clear!!

Great writing,, this was intense!!!

SB

[Adrian K. Smith]

That is how it feels... unfortunately, that is very much how it feels. I found the mix of the mind and matter description to meld well in the way you told this tale of magic and loss.

[LadyLove]

The full life of a love affair gone wrong...hmm...good! Nicely spiraled down from beginning to end! Peace to you.

[Angel's Lady]

This is the sound of your breathing after we have made love.
This is the smell of your hair in the morning.
This is the flame of your passion;

The good is very freaking good and the bad just has to be equally bad, doesn't it somehow? I felt this, deep inside. Great write. Good job.

This is my ache after we're done.

[dilettante1890]

There's a lot of emotional strength here! Nice job. Thank you for the review of my work as well.

[Adam Greenfield]

Wow. This was such a strong piece. Great descriptions and placement. You've captured both the feeling of love and loneliness extremely well in this; almost perfectly. I just don't have the obese belly... ha!

Awesome write, J.

[Dawn]

Wow this really is beautifully written, the pure joy of love and then the sad sorrow of loss.
The description is excellant and forms vivid images inside my mind. Well done.
Keep writing. Dawn