Cat Sh#t Greeting Card

monologue from the voices inside

"You are so judgmental"

"Yes that's true, I suppose."

"Well, why don't you STOP it. Be a little more supportive, a little more encouraging."

"Nope.. I can't do it."

"Well why not?" she said as she shook her head.

"Because it's important. It's too important to lie about."

"Is it too important to be kind?"

"Yes it is."

"Oh, I disagree, Kindness is always most important." she said with finality.

"And that's why I'm the writer, and your the wife of a writer."

"You are an a*****e, I am the wife of an a*****e, that's what I am."

"Look, anyone with a 4th grade education can string words together, but not everyone can be a writer, just like anyone can learn the skills, and sail a ship, but everyone isn't an explorer. 

An explorer sets out for parts unknown, he goes places no one has ever gone and then reports what he saw. That's what writers do. They go places other people haven't been, and do things other people haven't done and then tell about it.

Now take this guy. He has a child and watches it grow a little and writes about it. Well guess what? He's not a writer, that's not writing, and no one gives a s**t. What's new here? He knocked her up, she s**t out a pup, gee isn't that cute. 

The words the timing, the meter, the punctuation, the vocabulary, the emotion, none of that matters, because anyone can s**t out a pup, and everyone thinks their kid is G*ds gift to mankind."

"That's a horrible thing to say."

"That doesn't make it any less true. What about the last Birthday Card you got from your sister, what did it say?"

"Well, it said Happy Birthday of course, and I think it had some flowers or something on."

"See, that wasn't written, it was printed, that was crap. The sentiment was nice and the fact that she laid out a couple of dollars for it was kind, but the card was crap. Crap, crap, CRAP!

It would have been better has she found a dried up piece of cat s**t, pricked her finger, and written f**k off on it in her own blood, at least then you would have remembered it."

"So, that's what writers, real writers do? Tell you to f**k off in their on blood on a pallet of cat s**t?" she asked, now clearly exasperated.

"It doesn't have to be that, but it does kind of has to be like that. The voice fades as soon as the words are spoken, the paper doesn't last, hard drives crash, even the internet will be gone one day, but you would still remember that cat s**t card wouldn't you?"

She, turned and walked away.

"Of course you would, because the writer, just like an explorer, took you somewhere you had never been and showed you something you had never seen."

JS

11/23/2013