Royals

Inspired by the song Royals by Lorde Imagine this being read out loud

The drops echoed as they fell. Small explosions of red again porcelain tile. Dark against the white. The pool grew at her fingertips, extended long and delicate towards the ground. Limp. The rubies shone with cascaded cotton, as the sheets twisted and turned around her. Satin lava spread purple against the floor. Deep purple, spotted across the porcelain of her neck. Reflected across the embossed glass shattered across the floor. As were the birds. Flying across the blue mountains of bottle shards. Like shadows across her back. Taut and bronze as she breaths. In. And out. Silent against the cold air. Which forms rings around her breath. A twitch of whiskers. A gentle mewl at her feet, glossy orange and black. It breathes with her and the chains rise. Up. And Down. The air is thick with faucet drips and skeletons of laughter. And the floor is slick, white smears against rainbow porcelain. Strands of ebony sticky and curled at the base of her neck. Sweat. Hot sun streams across her skin. An alabaster glow. As she turns, a crash rings down the edge of her bed. Heavy clangs against the tile and it shines bright. So bright. Gems glowing rich with emeralds, rubies, diamonds. A crown.

Reviews

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I enjoy some of the images that you create with your word choices. Good job.

On the constructive feedback side of things: You use across 3 times within 2 lines close to the beginning, and you use the adjective porcelain thrice as well. Try to cut down on this repetition. Also would you mind structuring this in a poem form so it is easier to read? e.g. divide into lines, and then stanzas?