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Gasping. Deep breaths. Water droplets slap my face. Panic. You’re sinking.

The water ripples over as your hand slowly disappear underneath. The water is calmer now that you’ve stopped fighting it. You should have listened to me. I warned you didn’t I?  Regardless of how annoyed I am that you ignored all my pleas, I will risk my life to save you yet again. 

The bank of the stream is weak. I test the ground to see if it can carry my weight. F**k it. Doesn’t matter. I get on my knees and with one palm secured into the soil, I reach with my other hand to fish out my drowning best friend. The wieght of the water makes her heavier. Her limp body tries to pull me away from the bank and sink me down the stream towards the glorious waterfall of death. But the adrenaline is gushing through my veins. I make contact with her skin and clasp my hand tightly around her wrist. I’ve got her. I can feel the tension in my muscles, contractions. As soon as the top half of her emerges from the river, my other hand supporting me immediately reaches out to support her weak body. Somehow, I manage to roll her onto the river bank, behind me. 

Exhausted, I remain still to catch my breath. Hollow breaths. In, Out. In, Out. My body begins to shut down, slowing the activity inside. I roll onto my side to recover from the momentary chaos. 

She coughs. I sit up quickly to check on her. Slowly, she beings to sit up. And that’s when the ground gives way. SPLASH. 

The roles have reversed. I am drowning. The water rises above my eyes. My ears become plugged by the silence of the water. The strands of my hair float around me, in peace. I began to sink. I had never learned nor been taught to move like the fish. Things began to blur as I began to drown, further and further away from the surface. And the final lingering image was of her emotionless, hollow eyes, staring down at me.. refusing to risk the life I had just saved to save me. 

Author's Note

any feedback would help :)

Reviews

[SM Davis]

Your imagery here is very well done. The writing is gripping. The point of view is a bit confusing...in the beginning it is "your hand" then it turns to "her limp body" I have no idea who the writer is speaking to..if it is the reader...the girl drowning...the savior. You see what I mean? I am giving 100 for effort. You gripped my attention. The rest is mechanics and easily fixed.