Dark Room

Inspired by Disturbia by Rihanna, this is just a simple way of showing how we all lose our sanity.

I'm sitting in a dark room

it's like a dungeon

No sun, No moon

I'm waiting for the world to

Find me alone here

Until then, nothing to do.

Nothing to salvage here

And yet I have no fear.

 

If I had the power to lock myself inside

I'd stay away from the horror

Inside this place called humanity

I'm losing all my sanity.

 

Author's Note

I wrote this at school, oddly enough. ^.^ Hope you like it. Comments and critisim of any sort (forget being constructive!) is welcomed heartily!

Reviews

[Madeline J. Broadie]

Ohemgee, thanks everyone who commented. ^_^

[Wildecat]

There are probably a lot of us in the same situation, nice write.

[R.W. Blue]

wow, it felt like i just lost all sanity.
it's really great how you added a rhythm that seemed to speed up for the finale: the loss of sanity.
great job. :D

[FatalityWriter467]

I'm losing my sanity too. F-

[Madeline J. Broadie]

Come to think of it, a semicolon would have helped, thank you for the thought. :) Yes, in my computers class, I must say I type fast enough that I even have a few saved stories on the school CPU's.
Thank you for the comment, and critisim. It's appreciated. ^_^

[The Purple Kazoo]

i love writing poetry at school! it's always nice to meet someone else like me. :)

if i was writing this poem, i'd probably add a semicolon after "horror" in the last stanza. it seems small, i know, but punctuation can change a poem so much.

it's a really good poem. it communicates a modern [for lack of a better word] idea, and does it well. kudos; keep it up!!

[Madeline J. Broadie]

Thank you very much, Nickilynn. I apologize if I failed to spell your name correctly. :] I think I will actually try to submit some other poems I've written during school. And thank you again. :DD And I will try to share some more of my ink as soon as possible. ^_^

Nice to meet you too, Pure Life! Well, that was not very constructive, so I appreciate your comment in every way possible. Thanks.

[~Mary Ann~]

Isn't it odd that you would feel safer locked in a dark room than out in humanity? It does seem that certain things are taken to extremes as of late. A well written point of view in this piece..

Welcome to the Writerscafe... I hope you will share with us a little more of your ink...
Though.. part of me is hoping your lectures will get a little more interesting so you can actually learn something! :p

Perspective ink! :)

[Pure life]

very nice to write it at school......ha ha you teachers suck....sorry