12. Sarah

12. Sarah

I couldn’t breath, even if I wanted too. Everything felt closed in, as if I was suffocating.  How do I make this stop? I feel like I’m going to die. No one wants you. You’re better off gone. Not you again. This is all my fault… I froze, “Max..” I kept searching for his voice. I deserve to be in this bed, not you. I gasped, “Is he really here? Here with me? In Cali?” I don’t want to lose you. “This can’t be real..” This is all my fault, all of it. Did he really come all this way to tell me that it was all on him. He really does care. But how did he know? I’m sorry Max, but I don’t think I’m going to make it. My bodies failing on me. Its not your fault and its not mine either. Maybe its better like this. I felt a cold breeze across my arm, stopping at my scars. It really was my fault… Part of me was glad that he admitted to his mistakes. Part of me was glad he saw the scars that run across my wrists. I’m more glad that he came to see me. Your still worthless, you will never make it alive. I control you now. I chuckled, not anymore. I’m in control.