11. Max

11. Max

I got out the taxi and ran to the front desk, “Which room is Sarah Woods in?” the receptionist looked up her name in the computer, “Sir, she is not suppose to have any vistors, family members only.” I can’t believe she’s telling me this, “ma’am please that is my girlfriend, I NEED TO SEE HER, I traveled all the way from Germany to here, please don’t make this trip not worth it.” I pleaded and pleaded, I looked at her with my big brown eyes. She took a moment to think about, as if she was debating. “Please.. I need her to know that I’m sorry and that I love her, please.” she signed and rolled her eyes, “Room 202, take elevator D and up the 2nd floor.” A huge smile came across my face, I thanked her and ran my way to her. I got up to the second floor and doctors were all rushing to one room, Room 202… “Hurry we need to get her to calm down or this will not end well for us.” My heart dropped, please don’t let that be Sarah… I looked at where they were heading… Room 202.

I quickly rushed in with them and all I saw was Sarah’s body going out of control, as if she was trying to find a way to control herself, as if she was fighting for her life...please keep fighting, please. I rushed over to her bedside and held her hand. The doctors kept telling me to move, but I denied, I reach over for her hand and held onto it, “Sarah... if you can hear me, I want to tell you, this is all my fault, none of this would have happened if I didn’t always blame it all on you. I know your angry at me, you have every right to be. I deserve to be in this bed, not you. Please keep fighting, I don’t want to lose you. This is all my fault, all of it.” I put my head on her hand, as I rubbed  my hand across her arms, I felt something, as I turned her wrists, all I saw were cuts, one that looked fresh, was the one that was bleeding out. “It really was my fault…” The doctors evetually had to move me, I looked at her small, damaged body. Your an idiot, how could you scar someone as beauitful as her. I looked up at the ceiling, God please don’t let me lose her.