3. Sarah

3. Sarah

“Its all your fault.” My fault, how is it my fault, please tell me. “There’s many reason into why this is your fault.” Just hearing those four words, makes my heart want to pop, I just wanted to curl up into a ball, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to hear anymore of it either, so I hung up. So am I at fault for everything? Is it my fault that my family sometimes falls apart? Is it my fault that I lost my 12 year best friend? Is it my fault that you damaged yourself for no reason? Well is it… I sat on my bed looking at myself in the mirror, tears rolling down my face, hair scattered, and a sharp blade close to my wrists. Will he care if i open a new wound, will that be my fault? “SARAH, SARAH, honey can you hear me?” I open my eyes, in front me were those deep ocean blues eyes that I recognize so quickly, it was my mom. She had tears in her eyes, I looked at her with pain in mine, I reached over her hands, squeezed it, and gave her a slight smile.

I layed back looking around the room, my mom with her long brown hair, blue eyes, long body, and tan skin. My dad, big, tan, tall, black hair, and sky blue eyes, in the corner on his phone talking with someone about work, he looked over at me and smiled. I looked over at my goofy looking brother sitting in the corner on mom’s phone, probably playing some game, like he usually does to irritate her. I look  down at myself, I was covered in scars of my own, plus the new ones from the accident. Oh god, what  had happened, I had no idea. My question is why did it happen to me.

Its all your fault. God how can everything be my fault please tell me. I closed my eyes, I slowly moved my hand across my wrists, the open wound, the rush of the blood, i felt so relieved. I opened my eyes and examined the new scar. I heard my moms footsteps and I quicky wrapped it up with a cloth I had next to me. And threw on my black sweater that was hanging on the edge of my bed. My mom peeks her head in my room, “hey honey, I just wanted to know how you’re doing?” “I’m fine mom, thanks” I tried to give her a smile, but it didnt work out as much as I wanted it too. I didnt want her to worry, she had enough on her plate than to add me on it. She sat next to me, wrapped her arms around me. And we just sat there in silence.

“It will be okay honey.” “You promise?” she smiled before she said anything, “I promise.”

The only thing that kept replaying in my head was…

“Its all your fault,

Its all your fault,

Its all your fault.”

I wasnt feeling any pain in my heart, all of it rushed down to my wound that has been added on. God it hurt so much, but he’ll never know.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Painful and strong emotions shared in the chapter. I liked the honest tone and the honest conversation shared in the chapter. Thank you Suvada for sharing the excellent chapter.
Coyote