Linguine's Life: A Dog Blog - 28/12/2024

I GOT ADOPTED A DOG. EEEEEEEEEE! I'm so scared.

I ADOPTED A DOG.

I'm so nervous. I don't know if I'm doing this thing right. He's called Linguine, like the pasta, yes, and I love it. It's such a cute name. I love him. I've only met him for two days and I already love him. I don't know why. Is this how a mother feels like? Seeing their child for the first time and instantly falling in love? There's something that tells me I'll only fall harder as time goes by.

Linguine has silky jet, black fur and adorable brown eyes. He wears a blue collar and I personally think it suits him very well. We adopted him from the PAWS shelter in Huahin, Thailand and he's around 8 months old. He's definitely a Thai mix but considering how he looks like and how he acts, the volunteers think he's probably a labrador x border collie x Thai dog, which I think is so cute. He's still a puppy, and he's so energetic and fun he's always on my mind. The shelter owner (let's call her Abba) was so nice. We went on Friday to meet Linguine for the first time, and today we took him home.

Okay, Rika. Breathe. You're going to be fine. (I'm so nervous, I feel like a foster parent).

Since Linguine used to live in Huahin, which is known for its beaches, he's used to playing in the water and running around in the sand. Abba mentioned how he could get itchy when he rolls in the sand and it gets into his double coat fur. We had to give him a good wipe-down before putting him in our car and driving back home. Linguine is such an obedient and smart dog, I cannot stress this more! He knows so many tricks and isn't violent, doesn't bark at people, and is so fun to be with. He does have the tendency to sniff around everything and everyone, though. Only because he's so curious! He's Thailand's special explorer and I love him for that.

We went on two walks together when we were at Huahin. The first time, it was around the big pond, and the second time, it was at the beach. He's so energetic and loves playing with his red and blue toy crab (I call him Mr Crabby). I'm glad he's such an easy puppy to be with and just loves playing so much!

I'm sorry. I'm writing in such short sentences because I'm so nervous and so jittery and so ahhhh! excited about this I don't know what to do with myself. I'm chewing my lip and my fingers are always tapping or fidgeting one way or the other.

Okay. Back to the Dog Blog.

I'm also concerned about Linguine. I know today is only his first day at his new house (I don't dare call it a *home* for him yet, but I do hope he'll think of it as his home someday), but I've always been doubting myself and asking myself "Am I doing this right?" "Will he be okay?", all the while thinking: "I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I'm so scared." I'm careful not to show Linguine that I'm scared, though. I read somewhere that dogs can sense that, and I don't want him to freak out even more.

Of course, since Linguine has been at the shelter for a while now, he's familiar with all the volunteers there, including Abba. Every time Linguine sees her, his tail starts to wag really high and really quickly, and you could feel his excitement and happiness upon seeing her. I can only hope I can experience that someday with him. When Abba and my mum was signing the contract in another room, I was left with Linguine and my sister, and the whole time, Linguine was so anxious and sad and it broke my heart. He kept clawing at the door, knowing that Abba was at the other side and when he spotted her through the window he immediately jumped up and his tail started wagging again. I really love him and it broke my heart when he didn't want to be with me. I know it's unrealistic since it's only the second day I actually met him (and in total, it was less than three hours), but I've already fallen in love with him. It hurts. Love hurts, and I love Linguine.

When we first put Linguine in his crate/cage at the back of our car, me and my sister was so excited we climbed to sit next to him. He was so excited and kept looking out the window, but eventually, when he realised we were moving away from the shelter, from his home, he got frantic and anxious and kept spinning and sniffing around. When my sister opened the cage a little to pet him, his first response was to dart out of the crate. We successfully let him stay put, though, and all the way on the 2 hour car ride we decided to open some calming dog music for anxiety on Spotify, and honestly I think that helped calm my nerves down more than Linguine's.

We took a lunch break at a restaurant and decided Linguine definitely needed to pee. During the whole car ride he was just spinning around and sniffing, as if finding a good spot to finally let loose, but since he is potty trained only to pee or poo in nature, we decided to bring him to a small abandoned garden next to the restaurant. Now, getting him to pee was no easy feat. Linguine is only a puppy, so of course, since the restaurant is situated right in front of the main road, many cars are zooming by and coming in to park at the restaurant. He got so scared, which made me feel helpless because I couldn't help him in time. Luckily, my sister was there to help carry him to that abandoned garden, making him feel more safe. When he finally peed, we all congratulated him and ruffled his fur, because that couldn't have been an easy thing to experience as a newly adopted puppy in a whole new landscape. This situation also caused me a lot of anxiety, because I don't want anything bad to happen to my sweet dog.

After we finished eating lunch at the restaurant, my sister was already back in the car and had already filled Linguine's water bowl. He finished the whole thing. My boy was very thirsty. After that, we spent the rest of the car ride listening to calming dog music until Linguine felt safer to finally lay down in a donut shape. I know that probably means he's protective and not trusting yet, but he's gone through a lot these past few hours, and I'm so proud of him for finally settling down and feeling safe enough to lay down. He wouldn't even sit the first three-quarters of the car ride.

When we arrived home, my baby was so excited to get out and explore. He was such a good boy, sitting in the crate and waiting for us to unload everything off of the car. When we were done, we put the leash on him and let him roam free! (with supervisors, of course). He sniffed everything in our garden and even found a dead bird! I had to kick it away before he could gobble it up because I didn't know how long it has been there. He's such an active dog he just keeps sniffing and exploring and sniffing and exploring!

Another thing that made my heart ache today was how Linguine kept going back to the main gate of our house and sniffing underneath it. I don't know if I'm reading into it too much, maybe he's just curious, but he is a smart dog, and he kept going back to the main gate, sniffing as if he knew that if it opened, he'd be free to run away. I'm scared he's going to run away. I want to build a life with him, love him more, and make him feel safe and at home. I want him to want to come back home instead of wanting to run away, and it made me so doubtful of myself when he kept going back to the main gate. He's a smart dog and he knows it too. I've never had this many insecurities about someone before, not even with my friends. I'm usually such the chill, go-with-the-flow, accepting friend and I don't think I've ever worried about anyone running away or leaving me this much before. I always feel safe and secure about them, because I've been with them since forever, but with Linguine it's different. I've known him only for a couple of hours and my heart ratchets and pounds in my chest every time he does something. Every burr of the air conditioning I hear that as his breathing. My whole mind has been consumed by thoughts of him and I can't stop them. It's like a flood of feelings I've never felt before, only able to unlock with an animal. I don't think this is good for my heart.

Before my sister and my mum went back out to buy some stuff for my grandma's birthday party tomorrow, my sister made Linguine's dinner and placed it in his 'cave'. I'm going to call it his 'cave' because it's kind of like a mix word for crate, cage, and house. Anyway, Linguine is new to all this and I'm sure he's not used to being in a cave before, and since he's such an active dog with a love for exploration, when I managed to get him in his cave and closed the door, he immediately got anxious and panicked. He kept clawing at the cave walls, trying to find a way out, and it hurt me to see him so distressed. It hurt me even more to know that I was the cause for his distress. Quickly, I ran out and grabbed the blanket the shelter gave us and came back to hear him whining and sobbing so I quickly went to him and put the blanket on the side of the cave where he could see and sniff. He immediately stopped sobbing when he saw me in view again. I don't ever want him to feel like I'll leave him like that ever again. I got so scared about what was going to happen I strapped the leash on him and open the cave and he literally darted out. I knew I had to look at going-in-the-cave from another point of view now and change my method, so I decided to show him instead of tell him. I wanted to help him with love and care instead of fear. I crawled into the cave and sat there, urging him to come in too. For a while he was panicking and reluctant, but after I sat for a while he stepped in too. I didn't close the door yet, since I didn't want him to feel claustrophobic, but then I did close the door and he got all panicked again. I opened the calming dog music again and started reading one of my stories to him (to calm him down but also to calm me down because he was freaking me out). We sat there for hours on end. I literally watched the sun set and the mosquitoes start to fly in. Eventually, Linguine warmed up to me and actually lay down and went to sleep. Twice. I was so happy my heart literally exploded. The whole time, I was gently caressing his back to make sure he knows that I am here for him and that I am a safe person, and he finally got to sleep and even finished his dinner! I'm so proud of him my heart could burst a second time.

After sleeping again, it was around 7 pm now and I was still in his cave. I knew I had to get out sooner or later to take a shower and sleep, but I was so scared to open the cave. I didn't want him running out again and disappearing from my sight. Fear gripped me like a chain and I couldn't muster up the courage to open the cave. Eventually, I called my aunt and she told me I'd have to come out of there sooner or later. Finally, I mustered up the courage and she opened the cave for me. Of course, Linguine was excited to go out and dashed out, but it wasn't the scared kind of fleeing, it was more of the yay! freetime! kind of dashing. And, the different thing this time was, when I was still in his cave and he was already outside, I tried calling his name again and he actually came up to me! I told him to come into the cave and he did, willingly too! I even patted the place next to me on his dog bed and he did what I told him too. He's such a smart dog. I love him so much!

After that, I went upstairs to check on my texts and let him explore and continue sniffing around, just when the next big trouble came up.

It's close to new year's day, and everyone's about to start celebrating. My neighbours decided that today of all days was the perfect day to test out their firecrackers! Linguine got so scared he went to hide behind his cave. I ran downstairs, shaken with worry and burst out the door. Quickly, I slipped into his space and called out his name. I heard his panting and he came running to me and I was so relieved that he was okay. He didn't swerve around me but ran straight to me and I gave him a tight reassuring hug, rubs, and kisses, telling him that he'd be alright. Linguine's honesly a very alert dog (it comes with being active, I guess) and he always notices the little sounds. I noticed this when I was with him in the cave. He'd always open his eyes to see what that tiny creak was, or how that pigeon was pecking at his kibble bag. I was so worried and scared for him that it scared me too. For the rest of the night I couldn't stop worrying about him and was anxious all over. That was until my sister came back from her expedition, and things started to calm down.

I went to say goodnight to Linguine for one last time before going upstairs, and this time, my sister was with me. She didn't stay long, though, and I was left with Linguine alone once more. I gave him his goodnight kisses and rubs and hugs (did I mention how much I love him?) and went upstairs. I quickly slipped into the shower before I could be racked with worry once more and find myself running back downstairs to him. Luckily, my sister went back down to see Linguine after she showered and sat with him in the cave for a while. She reassured me that he was totally fine and not scared at all, which soothed my nerves very much. I can't stop worrying about Linguine, and I don't think I ever will. I know it will get better, but right now, my heart feels like it's constantly beating too fast for this puppy.

All in all, though, I believe this day to be an incredibly successful day for the first day of fostering a puppy in a new home. My house is technically a whole new planet for Linguine since he's never been out of the shelter before, and I'm so proud of him for being able to adjust as quickly as he could, and being able to sleep in a new environment, all the while never barking or being aggressive. I'm so grateful to have him in my life now, and am also proud of myself for sticking by his side and leading with love. He helped me realised so many things in the span of 24 hours, like how big my house actually is, how many improvements I could make, and he makes me want to make the whole world better, just for him. I want to make this place a home for him, I want only the best of the best for him, and I want him to feel warm, safe, loved, and most of all, happy. I want him to know that he's got me and my whole family there for him if he needs us, and that I would change the whole world for him if that meant he'd be happy. I didn't even realise when all these feelings suddenly sprung up on me, but I started researching about dogs more, reading up on them just so I could understand him better, just so I could take care of him better, just so I could treat him better, and it makes me wonder...

...is this how true love feels like?

- Rika, 28/12/2024, 23:10

Author's Note

written: 2024