My Love

I don't feel like I do anything right,
My heart feels so heavy tonight,
Everything feels like it's falling apart,
I wish we could just restart,
Nothing has been okay,
I should have seen this coming before today,
My body and my heart is so sore,
I feel like I've opened up this old door,
These emotions are taking over me,
And I wish I couldn't see what this is turning out to be,
I've always been in love with you,
But it doesn't seem to help anything no matter what I try to do,
You've always been what held me together,
And now it feels as if I'm falling apart,
I can't describe how much I miss you,
But I hope you will be happier without me,
Because that's all I've ever wanted to see.
I put all of me into what we had,
And now your gone and I'm just left
Really sad.

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Lady Fellow Texan!
As a Native Texan, I had to befriend you and take-in your poetry! : )

Golly!
Well, Texas women are known for their beauty and kind heartedness, but this is truly a poignant piece of your broken heart that has grabbed your pen and left drops of unhappiness all over your page.
Yes, love can be like a three- cornered disk in the core that hurts when it turns, and one would well be mindful not to allow it too much; for eventually, the corners will wear down 'til they hurt no more and sensitivity to feeling will die … we wouldn't want that, would we?
We should never become unavailable to love, reaping the wise lessons life teaches us along the way about how to avoid poor decisions that leave us emotionally destitute and unable and excited about romance and all the wondrous sensations it brings to those who can receive and take part in all its joys.

You must think me daffy by now, but in my defense, it is the vivid reality you poured into your poem that bade me come to your rescue … it is built into Texas food as we grow … LOL! I promise, though, if you'll give me the chance, I'll not burn your eyes out anymore with my verbosity.

Seriously, I see your potential to become a marvelous poetess, and have but a couple of suggestions you might consider giving a whirl:
1. Break your longer lines to create a more even flow throughout your work.
2. Select a suitable font, font size, and color to better fit your poem's mood and emotional moment … presentation is important to the reader's mind's-eye.

I can offer more, and we can begin by making this little piece into a virtual masterpiece, if you're willing, and that will flow over into your new work, as-well.
Your penultimate line, make it "you're gone" … btw, I really "am" a dedicated teacher of poetry. : )

Thank you so very warmly for sharing You so openly and honestly through the auspices of your splendid poetry … I look forward to enjoying much more of you, and hope you might enjoy something from my pages when time and desire allow … hugs 'n blessings! ⁓ Richard

[Yours Truly]

Thank you so much for such kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed it, but yes a lot of my poetry is pretty much feelings I've wanted to release. At the time of this one, I was in a horrible relationship that I was trying to make work which was one of many mistakes, but yes I always try to learn my lessons and take the best with me. I love the descriptions and metaphors you just used though (or three weeks ago anyways lol) They catch the attention of readers and really give a visual picture of your words. And thank you for the suggestions, I do have trouble with breaking my lines down. And I've never thought much about the presention of my poems, but again I do appreciate ALL of the positive criticism! :) I'm glad it could make you want to write such a great and meaningful review. I am sorry for such a late response, but I would love for us to go over this poem and make it into w a masterpiece! Lol, But I'm sure I will! I will definitely make the time too look soon! Thank you again Native Texan!

[Matching Socks]

Tugged at my heart.
Sometimes it's not meant to be but it sure does hurt...

[Yours Truly]

Yes it does but very true.. thank you for your kind words.

[hellstorm.338]

i like it. it speaks about the truth of a heart to me

[Yours Truly]

Thank you :) and yeah sometimes they do..

[00000000000000000000000..]

I liked it :) Sometimes things just happen