Shelf Life

A weird poem from the point of view of... a book.

Hey.

Hey you!

Yeah, you! The one walking through the fantasy section.

Yeah. I’m talkin’ to you.

NO, I am not the librarian! You’re looking the wrong way!

Yeah, there ya go! On the bookshelf!

No, no, I’m down a few shelves.

Down…

No, wait, too far! 

Ah, there you go. Do you see me? No?

I’m the eighth book from the left. With the blue cover.

Now, just take me off the shelf…

Ah… Yes.

FREEDOM!

Do you have any idea what it’s like to be a book in a library?

In a house, you’re out in the open at least some of the time, and in a store, there’s plenty of noise.

In a library, you’re stuck on a shelf like ninety-percent of the time, and there’s not even background noise. It sucks, man. It sucks.

…What?

Why are you looking at me like�"

Oh. Right. I’m a book.

Not very often you see a book talk.

Oh, how rude of me! I forgot to introduce myself!

I’m the Marvelous Land of Oz, part of the L. Frank Baum family. Second oldest.

Yes, family. Books by the same author are considered siblings.

Please don’t stare at me like that.

It’s kinda creeping me out.

Hey�" hey, what’re you doing!

Hey! Hey! Stop that!

No, no, pick me back up!

No, stop that! I don’t WANT to go back on the shelf.

And out the door she goes, screaming.

…

Well, crap.