"Wrath of the cadaverous mansion"

"Wrath of the cadaverous mansion"

A Story by sushobhan
"

A story that's all about the outcomes of wickedness and mediocrity of a guy who slays a young girl of age 12 i.e as charming as a fawn,but only in a dream.

"
In the countryside,we had stayed there for past 5 years and it was only 3 weeks ago,that we dashed to stay in a city that was to change everything for me. I had taken up an amusing craze for snookers and visiting pubs.Came back home,with an attribute of a dipsomaniac,i would go for a snap or otherwise stayed up late musing about the intimidating experiences i underwent at the countryside.
What took me aback here was the scarlet light gleaming out every night from a flat just behind my residence.It would stay prevalent till 4:00AM and i never found anyone residing in it from my verendah.
One day,when i was in the flood of my dreams,i found myself bullying a young cute girl out of no reason.I crossed the level of insanity when i stabbed her three times right to the gut.What strengthened my body language to go for the same was the fact that when i saw her,my mindset flashed me a scene where her ancestors slayed my family tree.She had no fault and i felt like chopping my own body when i turned so merciless on a girl that was as charming as a fawn.
The next day when i went to fed my pet hare nicknamed ,"the descendant of Greek philosophy" due to it's hostility,i found that ominous flat appearing and disappearing again and again.A voice called me out from inside,"someone's on the door". Go and check who the fellow is. A member of the pub named Larry called and asked,"HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE BET WE PLACED ON THE CORLEONES"? HEAD STRAIGHT TOWARDS THE PUB." While i strode across,i found the air conditioner releasing blood instead of water and an apparition that i believed to be descended straight from the hell.
I got in a serious duel with the Corleones and umbraged my left arm entirely. I returned back after getting drunk and that haunted flat was in full emergence now.I thought that today must be the divulging day of this cadaverous flat.I broke in and heard a strange voice of the rooks perched on the branches of a banyan tree that was visible only from inside.To the most horror,i saw a spectre in white ran,from my corner and fled through a wall.All the exits were blocked by now and i found myself in crippling aura of trouble.Then on the ceiling i found the very image of the girl i chopped off previous night that really blocked my nerves.The scarlet light was vanished and in utmost dark,i found 3 eagle-eyed phantoms standing right in front of me and questioned me? Why did you did that? With my body already blanched,the girl says,oh dad! we are too devoid of any scarlet and by the way,what do we have for our feast?
I doubted my audacity but still asked them,"what the devil prompts you to go insane for my life?"
"For the past few centuries,your family has bullied us in their dreams.whatever you do in your dreams with us is a reality on our part.We are all dead and whatever we would think of doing with you can occur only when you are not in your full state of mind.You were getting strange perceptions of our place because you were bit dormant. You slayed the empress of darkness last night and it broke the limits. Your existence questions ours. Time to pay back in your own coin,"replied the deadliest corpses of them all and i experienced their ghastly laughter.
God forbid! just like the merciless vampires,they devoured on me.
And at last,the girl exclaimed,"who's next"!,to which they felt satiation.

© 2013 sushobhan


Author's Note

sushobhan
What ya' think of the conclusion?

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Featured Review

⊰ℙℝ⊱ (Personal Request)

(spelling, spacing, and grammar)
past 5 years and it was only 3[ ]weeks ago (spacing)
body language to go for the same was the fact that when [i/I] saw her (capital)
(you have more than one instance of this, if this is a writing style, that's fine, if not please capitalize)
when i went to fed my pet hare nicknamed ,"the descendant of [greek/Greek] (capital)
I got in a serious duel with the Corleones and [umbraged/injured] my left arm entirely.
definition of umbrage,
http://bit.ly/15PTjEN
heard a strange voice of the rooks perched on the branches of a [banyan/Banyan] tree
Appears to be capitalized, please check,
http://bit.ly/674nfA

Note, you are using the word, "slayed" twice in this story. IMHO this is an unusual word. Suggest you use killed or slain.

And at last,the girl exclaimed,"who's next"? (standard to place quotation mark inside of quotes)

As for the story, it seems a bit vicious and violent with murder, evisceration, and body limbs torn. Is it teen rated ?


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sushobhan

11 Years Ago

Thanks, You are a good deal.
dw817

11 Years Ago

Well all right then. Take care ... :)



Reviews

⊰ℙℝ⊱ (Personal Request)

(spelling, spacing, and grammar)
past 5 years and it was only 3[ ]weeks ago (spacing)
body language to go for the same was the fact that when [i/I] saw her (capital)
(you have more than one instance of this, if this is a writing style, that's fine, if not please capitalize)
when i went to fed my pet hare nicknamed ,"the descendant of [greek/Greek] (capital)
I got in a serious duel with the Corleones and [umbraged/injured] my left arm entirely.
definition of umbrage,
http://bit.ly/15PTjEN
heard a strange voice of the rooks perched on the branches of a [banyan/Banyan] tree
Appears to be capitalized, please check,
http://bit.ly/674nfA

Note, you are using the word, "slayed" twice in this story. IMHO this is an unusual word. Suggest you use killed or slain.

And at last,the girl exclaimed,"who's next"? (standard to place quotation mark inside of quotes)

As for the story, it seems a bit vicious and violent with murder, evisceration, and body limbs torn. Is it teen rated ?


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sushobhan

11 Years Ago

Thanks, You are a good deal.
dw817

11 Years Ago

Well all right then. Take care ... :)

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Added on September 19, 2013
Last Updated on September 23, 2013