MIST

As I found my way,
To the hills in green which stay
A group of whites marched towards me,
Don't know, who is she?
Never before I have seen that face,
In fear, I searched for God's grace.
Seeing them swallow things around me,
I started wondering how to flee.
Nothing was visible,
Things near and far, both invisible.
I was filled with tears, when
Non of mine with me there
A touch by their cold hands I felt
Moist and flowers I smelt
With no seconds they disappeared,
They whom formlessly appeared.
I felt their company after every few steps.
I was with my friend from nature for all sunset
In nature, Nothing is perfect,
And still are perfect.
Trees are be in a weird way,
And still they are beautiful.

Reviews

[sushi]

Thanks for the suggestion Emily. I think now the poem looks little better after the correction.....

[Emily]

There's some grammar issues and I think that the last two lines are disjointed and needs rewriting. On line 16, who should be whom and formless doesn't make sense.I'd use formlessly.Sorry to rain on your parade!

[Maggie]

Trees are sort of odd, but it adds a bit of mystery to them...which is why writers write about them so much! Maybe perfection is actually imperfection...as you have shown here.

[Eiken]

I loved this poem and thank you for visiting me too. This is a lovely forum. Hope to get around it more and more:))

[Sweets]

I LOVED THIS POEM!
this is truly amazing!
I loved the use of rhymes in here.
This poem has a good rhythm !
I loved the way how you combined friendship to a sunset!
This is wonderful! Great work!

[Dream Weaver]

I would have loved to see this broken down
into a couple of stanza's, but overall, sometimes
imperfect is perfect.. nIce job....

[Ashesh]

everything is perfect the way they are.. so is your poem :) ..very imagery moment you described.

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

This speaks to me, there is beauty in this world if only we open our eyes. Great poem.

[Rossen]

lovely flow soft speed
held and moved

[Alice SeaAnna Hinkle]

this is so good! i really like it.