*****

*****

A Poem by sushi

Happiness in the song I listen,
Freshness in the air I breath.

Feet go tapping,
Hand keeps writing,
stories for "the final three hours".

No more subject left
Bye to the boring classes.
Final day of exam
I will graduate at the result.

The swing is taking me high - front
I stretch the legs to go further
Smiley curve expands, cheeks turn pink
The crackers have started to burst (within me)
the bright color are visible in my eye.

© 2011 sushi


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Reviews

I think the title should be "Happiness" or "Hope" or "Life is fun" or "Great times when..." ._. it's hard to make a title, because the poem doesn't have one subject, it talks about more than one thing, and that's what i like.
Great work!

Posted 13 Years Ago


It's like fireworks, you know there is something coming, you anticipate it, and when it gets there, it's BAM! :D
Anyway, I think you might want to get some of the grammar in your last stanza straight, since I was somewhat confused -- especially in the first and last lines of the stanza.
And as for the title, I kinda like how it is at the moment -- as it adds a sort of mystique to the poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I really like the last stanza it took me back to my elementry days when I would swing the recess away. Happiest days of my life

Posted 13 Years Ago


Friends help me with a title. plz

Posted 13 Years Ago



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195 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 3, 2011
Last Updated on January 3, 2011

Author

sushi
sushi

Pune, India



About
I landed here in an attempt to be myself and put out the thoughts in my mind. Its not some diary pages i scribble for the sake of writing, its my memories. Few, which i would preserve close to my h.. more..

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