Eternally Yours

Villanelle

I could not love you any more,

sweet heaven gleams 'pon starlit eyes;

caress my heart forevermore.

Gone, saddened days of life before,

"hosanna!" echoes in reprise;

I could not love you any more.

Embraced beneath a sycamore,

where truthfulness bears no disguise...

caress my heart forevermore.

Two souls entwine -- free to explore...

bright stars align with whispered sighs,

I could not love you any more.

Soothe blushing warmth, I do implore...

for you alone guide mountain highs;

caress my heart forevermore.

Together, clinging spirits soar,

eternal lovers' wondrous prize...

I could not love you any more,

caress my heart forevermore.

Author's Note

The villanelle has 19 lines, split into 5 tercets (three-line stanzas) and 1 quatrain (a stanza of 4 lines). There are two repeating rhymes and two "refrains," or repeated lines. The 1st and 3rd lines alternate as the last lines of stanzas 2, 3, and 4.



Verse 1: A1 b A2
Verse 2: a b A1
Verse 3: a b A2
Verse 4: a b A1
Verse 5: a b A2


Quatrain: a b A1 A2

Photo: "Courtesy of Google images"

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

I was looking for one of your 'Synergy' poems, and stopped here for a moment. I just wrote a Villanelle recently and wanted to see where you went with the form. Tricky stuff. You pulled it off nicely, getting those advancing lines to work with the new ones. Villanelle is just slightly easier than Sonnets. Fifty extra syllables and a third of your lines already written. Good stuff Susan. I couldn't love your poetry any more ... and I've only just begun!

[Susan 🦋]

Hello! And thank you for reading (and loving) my poetry! I haven't look at this one for a while. Nice to see your review! Synergy? '' In Season's Trust" :-) Thanks for stopping by!

[Susan 🦋]

:-) Oh I dont know about amazing ;-) heheh but thank you!! and thank you for the smile making surprise waking up this morning and finding so many beautiful reviews! I certainly appreciate it! I will make my way over to your page soon. Have a lovely day!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are amazing Susan.
"Together, clinging spirits soar,
eternal lovers' wondrous prize...
I could not love you any more,
caress my heart forevermore."
I do like the above lines. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry. A pleasure to read your work.
Coyote

[emmajoy]

'I could not love you any more, - - - caress my heart forevermore.;

For me, if may, the repeated use of those two lines makes this form as much poetic mathematics as any other form. I'm in awe, truly, entirely! For you to create such beautiful language, so full of love, yet placed within a 'shape' , is, for me - a near miracle! Your poem seems so natural yet is true to its intention. A villanelle strikes me as being seriously complex, that a wrong move, a misplaced rhyme or length of stanza would convert it into something else entirely... like switching off the stars or stilling a tide. To be taught, inspired, by your example is quite something too.. thank you. Bravo and more!

[Susan 🦋]

Hi Emma! Thank you for this wonderful review! Yes, A Villanelle can get a little tricky, but I think so worth the effort. Emma, you should give it a try. You have an amazing poetic voice! Thank you for your kind words :-)

[BlackPrince]

I like the poem as a whole with the subject matter. It's good that you've introduced and explained the Villanelle as a poetic form. This way a lot of our fellow poets can learn to see that there are so many ways to express our ideas, because poetry has endless possibilities for self-expression.
There are so many poetic forms I am considering practising and mastering.

WELL DONE

[Susan 🦋]

Ah yes...I enjoy the strict rules of some of these challenging forms. But you are correct, there are so many ways to express poetry. I certainly hope you do try some of these...I'll be by your page soon :-) Thank you for reading and leaving me such a great review and comments.

[kentuck14]

I sense a truly heartfelt poem of love for your God.
And very stylish too!

Grace unto you,
Tom

[Susan 🦋]

:-) thank you for another review! I do appreciate it.

[Einstein Noodle]

gently romantic ..the Villanelle kind of requires archaic language that lifts up and crashes down ... not easy to avoid and/or to use it effectively .. well done says i .. the singing of eternal love rings with new wings ;) i feel the familiarity that the form lends itself to ... stripped of all that the message is precious .. and with it it becomes a song ... i am no qualified person to critique these kinds of forms .. it gives me a head ache anyway ;} but i sure enjoyed reading this lovely poem of love ... it is never old .. and as you say ... never ending ;)
E.
ps. i do believe, i do believe, i do believe :))))))))))))

[Susan 🦋]

:-) thank you for such a kind review! I'm glad you're a believer!

[Richard🖌]

What's one to say, Dear Susan, when in the presence of such romantic splendor.
I'll begin by sharing how much I love the color and font selections, and that picture is absolute perfection in setting the mood, as is the whole of this amazingly heart-dancing piece ... I've never read a more enthralling Villanelle.
Form, rhymes, rhythm, flow, poetic voice, syntax, emotive creativity, moment, and your repeat refrains are sheer poetic ecstasy to a bard's mind, heart, and soul.

I bow in most graciously grateful thanks for this gift you've so kindly shared … one to make me glow with pride in You.
My warmest hugs to thee, Susan ⁓ Richard : )

[Susan 🦋]

Well ya taught me well :-) hugs you! Another great review.

[Richard🖌]

Seems you've, somehow, learned far better than I taught you. ; )

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Wonderfully creative write; the format and the wordplay are excellently presented - great read and beautifully written ... :-)

[Susan 🦋]

Aw thanks for the sweet review! :-)