The one that got away

Bludgeoned darkness of this soul,
Face impartial I remain, to show,
No feelings for a woman lost in mind,
That break this staple wood,
My strength,

Sapped of courage,
Grimace of tainted pleasures,
Blood upon dusky sky,
To which we would have watched,
Hearing the silence of my cries,
Pierce me,
Rip me,
Kill me,
Give me, but, the final blow
Lead me, hate thee 
In bitterness I shall dwell

Opportunity vacant possess this mind,
That pains time's record,
Memory that shall not be forgotten, 
A fool who's place was found
And lost again,
Purity rotten.

To end the beginning,
As beginnings end,
Fires dieing to masochistic flames,
Once to bring passions,
That now burn until pain,
Left to breathe in nothing but strife
Of the fight never fought,
But always lost,
The one that touched,
Then graced away.
I yearn for satisfaction 
That never came.

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

In my own understanding of the structure, in my case, I enjoy the rising and falling of strength and emphasis. As if you were mending a broken heart and gracing yourself by letting out the steam held within to your former lover simultaneously. Quite the feisty predicament there. I enjoyed, well done.

[Tom]

Thank you for the review and you have grasped what the poem was eliciting. I think I should say this was written in a moment some 5 years ago when my girlfriend (now wife) and I seemed as if other things would take precedence over us being together. This was not the case as is probably obvious from the wife statement, so it was a happy ending all round. Thank you again!

[Kenneth Compton]

This piece is filled with primordial chaos. It reads like a mix between gut reaction and long festering wounds. Very emotional, and very telling!

[Tom]

Thank you for the review, it is much appreciated.

[Athera Rose]

Very nice. I really like the detail and your style.
The first two lines are my favorite.
and these lines
"To end the beginning,
as beginnings end"
and
"The one that touched
Then graced away"
Well written and interesting.

[Tom]

Bit late replying, but thank you :D

[Addie P Abbott]

Niceee! I love the way you create the scene with your words. I really want to get better at that myself. I really enjoyed reading this one!