Asleep; A Disciple's Tale

I feel asleep.  I didn't to, it just happened.  I was too shell-shocked by the news my Rabbi had said.  That one would betray Him?  Yet even one of us?  Of course, it wasn't me.  It would never be me.  How could someone do it, though?  Betray their Rabbi, I mean.  We've been with Him for three years--given up good food and good money for this.  How could one of us betray Him?  I can't believe it--in fact, it is unbelievable.  

"You will all fall away on account of me."  Would I really disown my LORD?  And leave Him to die alone?  How could such a thing be?  And how could all of us fall away?  Every one of us?  Even...me?  I want to swear I will be faithful to the very end, but I;m afraid to protest.  He's never been wrong before.  And I do mean never.  Never.

Now that I think about it...I did.  I betrayed him.  I fell asleep in that garden!  I left him to be led away!  I was more loyal to myself than to my Christ!  What have I done?  Have I forsaken this man I call Teacher?  And the man who calls me friend?  Oh God, Have mercy on my soul...!

I fell asleep, I confess it.  I fell away.  But I embrace the reality of His grace.  There is no doubt that He is the Christ, now.  He said there would be a Comforter, and I shall wait earnestly for it.  It has been two days since He has gone.  But I trust in Him.  I will always trust in Him.  

Author's Note

a new experiment. what do you think?