The Saving

He walked alone in the fading light of the day.  The darkness seemed to come quicker now.  Everything seemed to be so slow, except for the night.  It came quickly and left just the same.  He pulled his tattered cloak closer and walked on.  Life hadn’t been the same since Chloe had died giving birth to what would have been their first child.  The thought brought pain to his chest.  Without Chloe, he’d slowly lost his grip on life.  For the first year he tried to pretend that it was okay, that things would get better.  Three months after that, he had lost everything�"his house, his job, his family.  He just couldn’t do it anymore.

Walking away from it all hadn’t been as hard as he’d thought it would be.  It was easy when you had nothing.  Luke walked on into the chilled night.  He’d spent the last week walking, and the Indian summer of the first few days had vanished.  The wind picked up a bit, and he shivered uncontrollably.  It had to be in the thirties, at least.  A bright moonlight shined down on him, and his heart fluttered.  These nights reminded him of Chloe, and they life they could have had.  It just wasn’t right that she was gone.

What was a life worth when everything was taken?  What was a life worth when there was no heart to live?  He pondered the questions and kept walking.  So deep in his thoughts, he didn’t realize that he’d strayed into the road.  A horn blared, and he jumped out of the way.  His knees shook, and he had to blink his eyes several times for the glare to go away from his eyes.  The car stopped and backed up beside him.  The driver let down the window and yelled out,

“Get in!”

He recognized that voice.  Wearily, he obeyed.  For once, it felt so good to sit down.  The soft, worn leather and the warm air seemed to sink into his muscles.  He hadn’t felt so much pleasure from sitting down in his life.

“Why�"How’d you know where to find me?”

“I know you.”

Lydia put the car in drive and turned the car around, going back the way she came.  Luke let out a sigh and closed his eyes.  Leave it to his drug addict of an ex to find him when no one else could.  What had taken him a week was covered in several hours.  He realized he couldn’t stay with Lydia, but he knew he could probably make amends to a few people.  Maybe he hadn’t lost everything after all.

Author's Note

any thoughts?

Reviews

[Mary Tasman]

You clearly have a talent for short stories-- it caught my attention right off the batt, and the character development is impressive for how brief the story is. The hope of being picked up at the end, even by someone who isn't great for him, shows his desperation in this moment of his life and really gets you thinking. If I did have any critiques on how to make the story better -- I would suggest more implication, such as when the ex-wife shows up, it might be a nice touch to imply who she is through description instead of saying! I like when you mention his current, overwhelming feelings- like how the thought of her brings pain to his chest and how sitting down in the car is so relieving. Helps bring you into the story!

[quinfinn]

sometimes salvation is in the oddest and least predictable of places or people, but...at what price? some would argue that this will drag him even deeper into the depths of despair...then again, we all have our price to pay for contentment. a hard and evisceral lesson is contained in this poignant and disturbing tale of woe and redemption.

[Siren]

wise and deep words, my friend. i always appreciate your reviews!