They Told Me

the survivor's tale

I asked why 

the rain fell,

and they told me 

because the sky was

full.

I asked why 

the days were so long, 

and they told me 

because the sun was

happy.

I asked them why the

body hurt so much, 

and they told me 

because it was

old.

I asked why

the heart was so broken,

and they told me

because it was

weak.

I am 

none

of these.

I am not

full.

I am not

happy.

I am not 

old. 

I am not

weak.

They told me

it should have 

been me,

but

it

was

you.

Author's Note

i know it's kind of obscure, but tell me what you think anyway. what do you get out of it?

Reviews

[quinfinn]

i think i love your writing style immediately...it fits perfectly into my concept of a complete emotional piece of introspect. stunningly impactful in simplicity and purposeful in message, without overloading the senses. beautifully written. please feel free to share and exhibit more of your skills!

[Jerry]

A very interesting write.
It was easy an pleasant to read, and one could always find it relevant .

[maurice_forgets]

Hi Sorrow,

This poem does remain something of a riddle (obscure, as you say), but I like that. The first four strophes are strong and engaging, like mini-parables almost. And then each of the four are, in turn, flatly disavowed (surely, clues to the riddle!).

I guess this poem, finally, could be about something prosaic like the unexpected and untimely death of a friend / loved one; maybe, the transitory nature of human life / death is set against the immemorial backdrop of "the sky" and "the sun"? Or, maybe the final "me" and "you" aren't people at all. I guess I'm stumped… but rather delightfully.

mf

[hayleee.]

i think this is amazing writing. as i was reading it, it made me think of a loved one. thank you so much for sharing.