Lullaby 1

Lullaby 1

A Poem by Siren

Wipe away your
tears, my child,
for we are
dead and gone.

We are free
from the hostility
and the cares
of this world.

Don't you cry,
my sweet dear.
No harm will
come to us.

We'll never again
feel pain or
grief or even
agony, you see.

Hush now, my 
love, for only
joy and happiness
await us.

© 2011 Siren


Author's Note

Siren
any thoughts?

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Reviews

Hmmmm, one suggestion. This short poem is heavy on clichéd abstraction (I guess you're able to identify what's abstract, right?). I would SHOW (with detail and specificity) rather than simply TELL or LIST things like "dead and gone," "hostility," "cares of this world," "harm will come to us," "pain or grief," "joy and happiness" . You get the idea, huh? These exact same phrases are in ten-thousand other poems.

Write the universal themes of this poem so that they could ONLY have come from your life and your experience. Don't allow your poetry to become interchangeable with ten-thousand other, similar, poems.

mf

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on November 24, 2011
Last Updated on November 24, 2011

Author

Siren
Siren

About
Well....if you must know, I (sometimes) live in the real world. I love listening to music because it lets me breathe. I love laughing because it lets me live. I love writing because it lets me (almost.. more..

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