This Happens

Sometimes this happens.

I don't know what's going on.

I don't know what just happened.

Sometimes this happens.

Where am I supposed to be?

What am I supposed to be doing?

What's supposed to be happening?

Sometimes this happens.

My brain slips into a fog.

A switch is flipped all of a sudden

And I feel....like I was just dropped into this moment.

Sometimes this happens.

I'm not sure if I exactly remember

What I was just doing.

The harder I try

The further away the words are.

Sometimes this happens.  

I'm hungry.

My head hurts.

I'm confused.

I want to sleep.

Sometimes this happens.

I can't remember if I like it.

I can't remember if it's dangerous.

I can't remember if anything bad happens.

Sometimes this happens.

I want to cry

And smile

And scream

And run

And shout

And laugh

And drive really really fast...

Sometimes this happens.

Injection

(high)

Mutilation

(bleed)

Inebriation

(waste)

Medication

(calm)

This happens. 

Author's Note

thoughts please?

Reviews

[quinfinn]

wow, sounds like a day in my life...to be sure, except i don't have the benefit of medication. i particularly loved the line about being "dropped into this moment"...you mean you do that too? i'm serious , i'll be somewhere doing something and suddenly my mind just stops and screams "what the f**k am i doing here?" i don't know what that is, but it keeps me in check with reality. awesome write, Siren

[Siren]

"Medication" actually refers to self-medication, like getting high or drunk or self-harm; it's all a way of coping with these..."breaks" or "splits" from reality. Of course, I'm not sure which is reality and which isn't. Also, I think that whenever I get to this, I'm stuck somewhere in between the worlds I live in. Like a sick Venn-diagram or something, although sometimes it's as kind as straddling to sides of a line. Sometimes it's like my mind decides to switch into another world, and I'm all thrown off balance. Greatly appreciate your feedback, quinny. It's incredibly relieving to see that someone understands what I'm saying.

[quinfinn]

sometimes my life feels like a big rorschak test....you know.. what do you see? always a pure joy to examine your writes....

[Siren]

I'm glad you enjoy it [:

[quinfinn]

;)